- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Therapists start out small, as small as can be and then have you work up and up from there! There is a term in psychology called "foot in the door phenomenon" where if you do a little thing, the next thing seems easier because you have already done something! Once you begin, you will find it is not as hard as it seems because it will be a slow progression, and you will build confidence and experience along the way that will empower you througuht your journey! The tools that you learn to fight your OCD will stay with you forever and as you grow more confident with using them you will accomplish things you never ever ever EVER thought you could! For example, I used to have a panic attack every time I heard a noise that even resembles a wasp, and I never dreamed that I would be able to walk through a cloud of 200 of them on a hiking trail, but after only a few months of persistent exposure I did it!!! And you can achieve things that once seemed impossible! I believe in you and I wish you all the luck in your ERP journey!!! :)
- Date posted
- 5y
And the most important thing is try to be positive no matter what, I know not everything is positive but try not to let yourself talk yourself out of it! Whenever you find yourself talking yourself out of something, try to think of reasons TO do that thing! Reasons why I SHOULD do ERP: And complete the list :)
- Date posted
- 5y
I know it helps so much but hocd seems like the one that is like never ending and never gets better for people. And I am happy with my bf. The last thing I want is me to find out I’m a lesbian and leave him ? I just want to cry thinking about it. Idk if I’ll the confidence to do it because I’m so scared. I know I have to try. Ugh. I know it could help me and could turn out everything to be fine and I still will still be with my man but the possibility of me not makes my heart want to stop.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have HOCD, and I’m currently in ERP. I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard, and I also fear that it will make me “realize” I’m a lesbian. But part of treatment is confronting that fear. And it’s 100% not true that people never get better from HOCD- it’s one of the most treatable, as long as you put in the effort. Solid examples of people recovering from HOCD include Chrissie Hodges (on YouTube) and Rose Cartwright (author of Pure). ERP is the only way to get better, and stay better. Be brave!
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I’m being stubborn as hell but confronting my fear of being a lesbian could make me realize I am and then I lose the love of my life that I’ve been with for a year. That’s a scarier fear than fearing being lesbian. ? idk how to do it
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I am in your exact position. I have a boyfriend who I truly want to marry, and I also fear realizing I’m a lesbian who has been in denial. But you’re never going to think your way out of this. ERP is the only solution. I have worried about becoming a lesbian every week since I started ERP in late September, but it hasn’t happened yet, even after many exposures. I have a long way to go still, but it works if you stick to it.
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac I know it’s something I have to do. I’m just scared shitless. Has it been getting better for you at all?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I was scared too, but anything is better than living with OCD. I haven’t been in treatment long, so there have been ups and downs. But I’m improving. Just make sure you see a specialist, because they know how to handle mental compulsions.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 If you need encouragement to start therapy, read Rose Bretécher’s article for the Guardian (if you google her name and Guardian it comes up). She has HOCD, and got better. Her story might motivate you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 16w
Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) I’m remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much
- Date posted
- 15w
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
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