Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
I honestly don’t even know what turns me on anymore and I refuse to look at naked girls or watch les porn because I’m terrified that will turn me on. I can’t even get wet for my bf anymore my sex drive is so low. I feel like a failure as a gf. I have never been so depressed in my entire life.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too. We haven’t had sex in forever because I’m terrified. Last time we did I kept having intrusive thoughts about women and I just stopped
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 ME TOO! that’s what happens to me :(((( oh my gosh it’s awful. We used to have sex so much and now we never do cuz my mind just goes right to women
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I’ve had this for so long that I can’t even remember good sex. This all started because I couldn’t orgasm so I was like welp I guess that means I’m gay. And now sex sucks
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 I can’t orgasm either and never have! oh my gosh ???? it makes me think I’m gay too! Omg. I heard a girl say she never did until she was with a girl. And I feel so hopeless. This is awful
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 If it makes you feel better there’s lesbians who can’t orgasm either
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
u can get aroused by anything, it doesnt mean u want it. But ocd uses it as proof
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
See I have hocd as well but I know I would never do that stuff. No matter the groinals. I know I want to eventually be with a guy. And same as you I’m totally pro-gay and my best friend is bi, I’m just not. But my hocd is rlly bad. Like it’s gotten to the point if I find a guy cute I get anxiety, even tho I like guys. And girls I am always checking and it’s just annoying now. It’s really scary. Do you experience stuff like this?
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
And I’ve liked guys my whole life. Like I remember as a kid telling a guy we’re gonna get married. Telling guys they’re cute. Liking boys in sixth and seventh grade and all that stuff. Even now I recently got my heartbroken by a guy.
huneyskisshuneyskiss
- Date posted
- 5y
I mean there’s some straight women that prefer lesbian porn but it doesn’t mean they are attracted to women it’s just something to get them off in that moment. But with ocd it will give you anxiety because it’s something you fear being it doesn’t mean it’s true.
EsosaEsosa
- Date posted
- 5y
You know what’s funny, out of all the things that I read in regards of sexuality, I identified with this one the most. I’m in recovery right now so I don’t want to seem like I’m seeking reassurance but sometimes, I need a reality check.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. I’ve been boy crazy my entire life. Until HOCD hits I never questioned myself. I was like, well whatever I think just the thought of sexiness to a guy gets me going. But now, it’s like I’m a lesbian in denial.
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
Does your ocd go “why do you even find him attractive? Are you attracted to him? What’s even attractive about guys?” And I’m like “I can’t even find a guy attractive anymore darn.”
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@anne_powell Yes, I get that. But historically, I couldn’t just look at a nude man and get turned on. But I could by boobs. Now I’m convinced
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 Is this abnormal?? Should I just see a naked man and get turned on???
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 No not necessarily. I think it just depends on the person. Personally when I see a nice looking shirtless guy I get really smiley and giddy and am like “ooooo he’s nice”. That’s all I would say. But even I feel like I’m in denial at times and although all this stuff with girls disgust me, I get scared that I’m faking disgust. But I’ve never had sex and have never kissed a girl so ya. But I have kissed a few guys and liked it each time, but now I’m scared to cause I’m scared I won’t like it (and I keep thinking about one kiss where I went in for the peck and he went in for the make out and his entire mouth went around mine lmao).
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
@anne_powell This whole thing scares me a ton and ya
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
@anne_powell Yeah i read all the comment and im the same. I hate that it had so much impact i wish incould be turned on by boobs but still be all in dreamland when i thought of the boys i liked. I wish i fidnt give a fuck and moved on but i do and i give many fucks. Anyway i think that we can be turned on by girls but we are romantically attravted to guys which means that we want to love and marry guys but we just are thrned on by boobs?? Becaude lets be real, were we turned on when we saw boob in real life? I wasnt. I only got turned on when t was on tv, porn, movies, anything on a screen. So idk i think thst means something. I just hste that it makes me so hard to believe that im straight if all the attraction to guys i had is gone. Im only left with being thrned on by woman and thats what makes it so hard to say im straigjt. Littersly the whole problem is the lack of attraction to guys, if that would be back i would get my old self back to. But it seems mf impossible.
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer Same. And boobs just don’t turn me on. In real life or over a show. It’s more I’m scared imma get turned on then I get anxiety. I’m so over this, like omg. I just want it to go away and my attraction to boys to be back.
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
@anne_powell I feel u, im afraid it isnt thst easy. I rlly dont know what to like do to get it back.
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer Yup I need major help lol I’m so depressed and scared by this thing. I’m scared I actually want to date another girl but I am fighting it. Do you feel like that sometimes? :/
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer It’s like anything I find any reassurance in my ocd take and distorts that to make sure I can’t
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@anne_powell I do for sure. Like I actually think about being woth girls so so much in my head that it’s normalized now and that my brain thinks I could be with one. But I don’t want to act on it. I don’t want to be with a girl but it just stays in my fucking head that I could be. And scares me that I will want to be over a guy. I’m scared of a possibility that I will like an interaction with a girl like me just touching or a hug or something. And I’m absolutely petrified if I got in a situation where a girl kissed me, I get scared I would like it and that would make me realize.
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 me2!! Feeling so guilty towards my bf
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen So guilty. I had the worst panic attack last night after reading about a bi girl and how she struggled figuring out who she was and she ended up marrying a girl. And my boyfriend just help me so tight and let me cry and told me everything is okay. I feel like I’m failing as a gf ?
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 Held*
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 And I struggle to have sex with him. We don’t do it and I fucking hate myself.
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 its good exposure to do it. you shouldnt do it if you dont want to :) But when you do just do it, and let the intrusive thoughts come and go. I feel like im failing as a girlfriend too, and i hate it. I cry everyday
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Me too. Every damn day.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m hopeless. I really don’t want to be with a woman but that’s what this evidence is pointing to
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. My ocd is screaming that i have to try it out, and giving me urges. I have never had urges before, and im freaking out. What should i do?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen I don’t know? this sucks. I just want to be with my fiancé and now I’m like shit I don’t want to be with a woman but I keep getting uncomfortable groin sensations when I think about sex with a woman even though it fucking scares me
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 Same. I hate this, i dont know what to do. Im freaking out.
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen I have been with a woman before sexually and I still feel like I need to try it out like that wasn’t enough so idk if it would even help :/ but I did stuff with her a couple years ago when I was drunk and when I had no doubt in my mind I was still 100% straight. So I think I get irges to now because it might be different now that I have the thought I could be lesbian in my brain :(
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I think the wise choice is not to give in to the urges. It will only make it worse.
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Correct! I don’t want to give in to the urges but I for sure get them. I told my bf worse comes to worse we have a three some. But I doubt I could ever actually go through with that. Don’t want my man touching anyone else ha..
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 This might only strengthen it! Be careful!!
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 i wont give in. Im so anxious, and it feels like im getting arousal. But i know its fuuiled by anxiety
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 I know! I won’t do it.
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
@soonocdfree yes. It feels like that, but im overthinking it. I hate this, want to die.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
You guys I’m not aroused just by looking at naked men and I wasn’t before HOCD is this a sign?
IdkIdk
- Date posted
- 5y
I wasn’t either, tmi! But I do get aroused when I see a penis.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m just terrified. Why can I get turned on by boobs and not abs? I’ve never found muscular men hot. But I’m drawn to men. I read about comphet and now I’m terrified
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah im the same, sixpack didnt make me turn on but it was like attractive to see thm u know it was lik okaaay so hes tskig care of himself thats attracrive. I could litteraly dream away when i thought of being in a telationship with a guy. I couldnt with a girl. I truly think this is the difference between sexual and romantic sttraction. Romantic is who you wanna love and live with and who you wanna marry and sexual attraction is who you get turned on by. So for me i got turned on by woman but i didnt care because i didnt want to be with woman. But i did want to be with men and i knew that if a man touches me i would defenitly get tunred on so i didnt care about the sixpack or nit beig turend on when a guy was naked or wateva. Its all about who you fall in love with, trust me when u fall in love with a men u get turned on by his personality, why u think ugly guys get good lookign girls, its the personality that speeks to us. Its a very normal thing to not be sexually into a hot guy immediately. U can be attracted but not sexually attracted, that comes later i feel like. For some woman its different and for some its like this. I know this is just reassurence but u need to know that this is the truth and that its acrually very normal. Sadly hocd got in our heads and words wont convince us to be confident and straight. This really is a mindgame we gotta fight to get rid of it
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer Yeah, I mean I’m definitely turned on by men when I’m near them but
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi all, I’m not doing much better. And frankly the thing about romantic vs sexual hasn’t helped because I’m still afraid I’m faking my romantic attraction
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Like I can’t believe that not being turned on by abs is normal??
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 Hang in there! Day by day we can all inch our way to the light at the end of the tunnel! So many people just keep telling me to focus on my love and attraction to my bf and all the good qualities he has. You should too :)
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 24w
HOCD or not?
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
polish_germa...
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m scared I might be more sexually attracted to women and more romantically to men
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
wynolove
- Date posted
- 13w
Am I bi or is it the affects of COCSA??
So I’ve been recovering from my obsession from my sexuality bc I am attracted to men 100% but when I was a child, a cousin I was really close to had me do things to her and ever since then my perspective on things have changed. After that experience I would sit in corners and watch girls kissing and when i got older and learned what pornography was, I would watch girls to learn how to pleasure myself and I would hide and watch women on women in the same room where I was sa’d in. When I became a teen I started learning about wattpad and teen stories and i got so into men and dating in the books and I ended up forgetting about all of those things that changed me. I never thought about any of the girl things till a old friend brought it up and said I should explore but it really makes me uncomfortable to do something like that because it doesn’t feel right and it makes me feel sick to my stomach to be with women or even talk to one that way bc I’ve never perceived women in that way. I’ve always fangirled over men and male celebrities and I have my favorite singers like Sabrina carpenter but I’ve never thought about her in that light nor have I done any other women. I even read this document called am I a lesbian and it’s very good and it helped me realize that I am straight and it definitely took a bit of weight off my shoulders but then I saw a video of a therapist saying how being sa’d doesn’t change your sexuality and so I looked up how did people know or what clues did they have to know if they were bi and a lot of people usually know from a young age as young as elementary and having crushes on women and men but i never thought about women in general even tho I watched porn on it. I simply did it because it was really all I knew and I guess it was familiar to me?? now my new obsession is what does this mean for me ? And how do I know if im attracted to a women? I’ve never had a crush on one before. I never even thought about any of this until my friend tried to convince me to explore and it all just sparked from there. Ever since that day I’ve been avoidant of women and giving them genuine compliments like I used to. Everything all of a sudden seems inappropriate or gay to do. I get anxious and my lower body part starts to ache (groin) and it keeps making me wonder if that is attraction or fear or am I uncomfortable? But when im around a man I clearly find attractive or a male celebrity I find hot, or if I have a crush/relationship with a guy, I start smiling and trying to act all pretty and squealing like a kid who just got the best Christmas gift and I know that I clearly want to bone him. And my biggest dream is to be a mother. I want to get married to a man who will be the love of my life and have a happy family and I just personally never seen myself doing that with a woman and i can’t even imagine myself doing so. I know that probably seems cliche and I know this probably is a lot but what does it mean ? Am I just in denial or is it something more ?
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