Why did this have to start again😭 please reply😭

@sjwmzn2023 I have opened up to her and she’s had enough of hearing about it, I can’t talk to her, and I can’t afford therapy here, I’m in the uk and don’t have insurance

@Fcukocd I’m sorry to hear that. OCD is almost impossible to understand unless you’re living it. Last night I opened up to my parents about my OCD and was pleasantly surprised by how receptive they were. I pushed through my biggest fear of being transparent about my POCD and that was a huge step for me. I’m not a therapist and I’m not a conquerer. But I know that accepting that I’m not my thoughts has had a huge impact on how I go through my day to day. My boyfriend will say “we all have intrusive thoughts” but no once quite understands how OCD reacts and affects those thoughts. Just know that you are seen and heard and never alone. If you want someone to talk to openly about this I’m more than open to hearing it all. My boyfriend doesn’t want to hear mine either. I get it. Please please please let me know. Everyone needs a good pair of ears to talk to.

@sjwmzn2023 I’m also a mom. I understand that side.

@Fcukocd Believe me I get it, I have groinal responses to my POCD and it eats me alive, especially having a child of my own. My instagram is stevee_lj feel free to follow or message me at your own pace.

@sjwmzn2023 @sjwmzn2023 Yeah it would be nice to have someone to talk to about the groinal response, cos I can handle the intrusive thoughts, I just can’t handle the groinal response 😔 the thing that’s bothering me the most is that pictures of my baby trigger it sometimes, which makes me feel so disgusted with myself, have you ever had that?

@Fcukocd For sure, sometimes when I’m playing with my daughter my thoughts will go “what if you were sick and sexualized her” and boom groinal response

@sjwmzn2023 I hate it so much, like for example, I’ll be thinking about how beautiful my baby is, nothing other than that, and then a groinal response will happen and just ruin the moment, it really is mentally draining because obviously I’m thinking of an innocent thought that doesn’t cause anxiety and the groinal response happens anyway which then causes overwhelming anxiety, it’s like the cycle is flipped, makes me feel like I’m not fit to be a parent

@Fcukocd OCD doesn’t define you as an individual. It’s just another aspect of life that we face. I have an easier time rationalizing my groinal responses sometimes. Other times they will drain me and make me feel like I’m not fit either. A few things that have made me feel better are 1. Knowing that there are people like you and I. For years I struggled and once I was diagnosed and found the community I realized that I’m not alone, and that groinal responses have nothing to do with actual sexual stimulation or attraction. I believe you when you say you don’t feel attracted to XYZ which makes me believe myself. 2. Looking into and learning about groinal responses. I mean fuck, there are people who have orgasms at things that are completely and totally sexually removed. That have nothing to do with their arousal. The human body is something we still don’t understand, so who am I as a stay at home mom to try and rationalize why my body responds to my anxiety in that way? OCD says: you don’t want to think this? Well now it’s all you can think about. You don’t want to feel this? Well now you’ll feel it with no warning. You hate this type of person? Well what if you are what you hate. It attacks and attaches to what matters most to you, and makes it terrifying and unenjoyable. I sympathize with you because I am you. So maybe I can sympathize with myself, give myself the grace I give you. It’s obviously easier said than done. For me personally medication has changed my OCD experience. And ERT will change it even more.

@sjwmzn2023 I see you post often and idk why but I feel so called to help you. I’m proud of you, and you will overcome this. Please don’t give up on yourself, I won’t give up on you!

@sjwmzn2023 Yeah, I know all about the groinal response and how different it is to real arousal, but everytime it happens, I forget what I know and fall into ocds trap of rumination, like the other day, me and my baby mum had intercourse, and after during the cooldown period (men have a weird thing called refractory period) and I just happened to get a semi erectjon after hearing my baby kick her cot, and of course, OCD started gunning for it even though it was a coincidence and completely unrelated and benign part of the cooldown period. I’m currently waiting for therapy and am really hoping they do ERP and teach me how to practice it, as I get so stressed that even talking about it causes the groinal response, I try my best to remember that it’s just OCD attacking what I value, but as you said, sometimes it’s easier than others

@sjwmzn2023 Thanks for this comment about the feeling called to help me, I didn’t see it until now, tearing up, thank u so much

@sjwmzn2023 Yeah, that’s something I will never let my ocd take away from me, is that I am a dad and I will continue to be the best dad that I can, because my baby deserves the best and I will give her nothing less than that

@sjwmzn2023 Can I ask you something??

@Fcukocd Yeah of course

@sjwmzn2023 I just wondered if you ever had a groinal response to an intrusive thought about your child’s “parts” I don’t know how to say that without sounding weird or crude

@sjwmzn2023 ?

@Ms.shelovesfrogs Yeah, soocd is basically gone aside from the dreams, and POCD seems to have taken its place

@Fcukocd Ocd seems to change main themes when one loses it grip on you. Treat it similar to the way you did for soocd and resist indulging in compulsions and more erp. I noticed you may need lots of erp to desensitize your brain to ocd. I am rooting for you

@Ms.shelovesfrogs Thanks I really appreciate it, I’m trying to think of being a parent itself as a form of exposure, cos there’s no better way to beat ocd than being scared of something and doing it anyway (being a parent and everything it entails)