Struggling after a dermatologist appointment

I have health OCD and I went to the dermatologist today to get some weird moles checked out and get a full body check. I asked her to go back to one and she apologized that she missed it and biopsied it. Since then, I’ve noticed that I have some other moles that I am nervous about and I’m scared she didn’t check them because she was in a rush and missed one that ended up getting biopsied. I really want to schedule another appointment but I’m struggling to be able to tell if this is my OCD brain or my rational brain and I don’t want to get in a loop of mistrusting doctors and scheduling more appointments and I don’t know how to navigate this without seeking reassurance.

MyNameIsM.

Date posted: 12h

I would guess that if she did any biopsy at all on any of them, you don't need to worry about it right now. I always have to tell myself not to worry until there's something to worry about because the ocd will take me on a trip if I don't keep that in mind. Which recently gappened to me. You are never alone in this. It's a comfort to know your brain isn't the only brain that does it. Also, the cool thing is that if it's something, you're gonna be fine!! They'll remove the stuff and check the others then. These docs know what they're doing and what they're looking at, most times without having to biopsy. Hopefully this isn't the kind of reassurance we don't need with ocd but the kind that anyone experiencing medical fears could use.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymousperson41 This was so helpful. It can just be so hard to accept things as they are sometimes. It is nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way. Thank you!!

MyNameIsM.

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymous I gotchu! Trust me... Like, seriously, I call OCD many bad word nicknames, often.

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

I understand! It's really difficult to know what to do in these situations. My first suggestion is to not try to figure out if this is "OCD brain" or "rational brain." Just acknowledge what is happening: you're uncertain if the doctor checked everything, and that makes you anxious. That's all that's happening. If you try to analyze it further to figure out if it's a "real" concern, it will only cause more confusion. Because at the end of the day it doesn't matter. The anxiety you feel is real, and that's okay. It's okay to feel anxious about your health. The OCD loop is largely fueled by resistance. We resist the feeling of anxiety and the thoughts that come with it, and we want to get rid of it all. We feel like we can't continue living our lives if we don't get the certainty we seek. But the secret is we CAN live with the uncertainty, we just never give ourselves the chance. That's why ERP is so effective; we give ourselves the opportunity to see that we can live with it, and it doesn't bother us forever. So you're probably still thinking, "that's great, but what if I really should be concerned about these moles?" My suggestion is to set a boundary for yourself. If you are really, seriously concerned about them, then set a day/time that you will mention it to the doctor. The important thing is to not try to contact them right now as a way to get rid of the anxiety. Set a time, maybe later tomorrow, maybe on a few days, or maybe you wait for them to contact you. Until then, recognize the anxiety and let it be there. Notice how it feels to be anxious, and be mindful of it. Don't look up pictures of skin cancer or do any research, just sit with the possibility that something might be wrong. Whenever the intrusive thoughts pop up, say "Maybe that's right, maybe it's not. I'll look into it more on [day/time you chose]. Right now, it's time to focus on [any other activity in the present]" Does that sound crazy or irresponsible to you? I totally get it, and I've been there. But consider this: at any moment, something bad can happen to any of us. You could fall down some stairs. You could get in a car accident. You could have a brain aneurysm. You could have some other type of cancer. You get the idea. We can't possibly keep mental note of every single possible bad thing that can happen to us. The only reason this feels so important is because of the attention you're giving the thoughts about it. Obviously your health is important. It's okay to be concerned about it. But if that concern takes over your life, you aren't exactly "living" then. You need to prove to the subconscious parts of your brain that you can live with the physical discomfort of uncertainty. Best of luck!

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

That’s crazy! I don’t even realize half the time all the mental gymnastics I’m doing to avoid these feelings. The doctor said they would call me back in a week- I think I can wait and try to be with this feeling until then. Thank you so much. This is a great community!

Chessmixxd

Date posted: 21w

Cause For Concern

I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?

Chel_d

Date posted: 14w

Overthinking my diagnosis

I just got done with an appointment with my psychiatrist and I believe she said that I have ocd, anxiety, and depression but I keep telling myself that she didn’t say ocd. I feel like I held back on a lot of how I actually felt because I was scared she was going to say I was crazy or something so I kinda down played what goes on in my head. I’m over analyzing things I said in the meeting and thinking that I might have said things that aren’t true. I feel like she doesn’t know the severity of it so she doesn’t think I have ocd. I want to text and ask her to confirm or should I just wait until my next appointment.

Secretidentity

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

Theme switch or normal questions

So in the past year that I’ve been diagnosed with OCD it’s always been relationship OCD and I feel that I’ve got a pretty good handle on understanding how to deal with relationship OCD but the past few days I have been obsessing over like different health things like yesterday I was watching so many videos on rabies and like learning all about it and questioning if I had rabies and then like I have a dry patch on me and I thought it was ringworm or something, but I don’t think it is based on like how it is I don’t know, but I did a Teladoc appointment because I noticed a rash and they gave me a prescription for it and like it’s no big deal. it’s just a yeast infection but then he said that like the thing that I thought was ringworm, I should go see my primary care provider to make sure that it’s not skin cancer and so now I’ve been looking up like skin cancer signs what it looks like and stuff because he kind of freaked me out with that and I don’t know if this is a normal reaction to someone saying that or if this is more of like an obsession now.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Struggling after a dermatologist appointment

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community