Couples counseling?

Hey everyone! Not trying to seek reassurance, but more so would just love to know if others can relate so I feel less alone. I am engaged and planning my wedding for next summer, which has been very exciting and fun, EXCEPT that I sometimes get triggered by seeing TikToks or hearing people say that wedding planning should be like 100% equally shared between partners. I would say I am handling a bit more of the planning, mostly because I am the one who wanted the wedding more (as opposed to like a courthouse wedding) and will have many more guests, and my fiance is also just very easygoing and doesn’t have a ton of strong opinions about wedding stuff. But I’ve been hearing people say things like “planning your wedding together foreshadows how your marriage will be” and it’s causing me to overanalyze things, like how much we’re each contributing and whether it’s “enough” or whether it bodes well for our marriage. Even though we have a very healthy relationship and I’m super excited to marry him, and I really do consider us partners in every way. I just hate the black and white idea that everything should always be exactly 50/50 because my OCD brain latches onto that and starts looking for ways that we are “doomed.” Anyone out there experiencing something similar?

I am hoping for some guidance on how to move forward. For some time now I think I suppressed doubts and negative feelings towards my relationship and always found a way to be “excited” and plan for the future. A couple months after my engagement on a trip to Hawaii I spent a week very irritable and distant with my fiancée and it resulted in a fight that was very triggering to me (feeling pressure or trapped). I wonder if this is bringing up trauma of being around some nasty divorces as a kid. I then spent the next week spiraling emotionally like I never have before researching “gut feelings” “why am I irritable or not connected” and comparing and searching for answers on the internet and with people in my life until I stumbled across ROCD, read a book and found some level of relief because it felt like what was happening in my head. It’s been over a month now and my new obsession is do I really have ROCD or am I just in denial. It’s exhausting. I’ve had ocd tendencies in the past, such as health ocd that led me to tests and obsessive over sleep and the ruminating has significantly hurt my life. But I feel as though my rumination always comes from a real issue and my brain distorts the significance or the severity of it. It’s so hard because we do have some incompatibles (I am high energy and she is so chill, I’m more extroverted she’s more introverted) but I used to see our differences as complimentary and now they are scary and extreme. I also get so much anxiety when I notice things I don’t like or perceive as an incompatibility and it makes it hard for me to be around her. We are in a long distance relationship right now but see each other each weekend. I’m at the point where I’m ruminating a little less but underneath is a depression and apathy and when I stop worrying I start to get scared because I’m not obsessing but I’m still not feeling hopeful. How can I move forward? Obviously searching for excitement and stimulation isn’t the answer. How can I distinguish real relationship issues from my obsessive mind? I’m pretty lost and would love some guidance from anyone going through something similar. Thanks for making it this far and reading my post.

I’m struggling with my relationship. She used to be so supportive of my mental health. She would listen to my problems with OCD. Now she interrupts me when I try to talk about it. She tells me that she won’t reassure me because that’s not helpful for OCD, but I’m not looking for reassurance. I’m just telling her what’s on my mind because I feel so depressed and overwhelmed by it. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my OCD but now I feel very alone again. Anymore we get into arguments about me talking about OCD, and the other day she told me she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, so now I keep it to myself. I guess it overwhelmed her (as if I’m not more overwhelmed 🙄) People always get overwhelmed by my problems (OCD or other things) and eventually they push me away. I feel like I trusted her too much. There are also other problems in our relationship. I’m worried it’s not going to work out. If we break up I don’t plan on dating for a long time if ever again because I need to work on myself. But honestly I don’t know what I’ll do. I feel pretty upset tonight. The pain is so deep and so dark right now. I’m engaged to this woman, and I love her very much, but she’s not there for me anymore(not just in regards to OCD) and it’s crushing me. Idk what to do.