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The feeling like you need to confess in order for him to see the “real you” is indeed a compulsion, and that means you need to try really hard to resist. You aren’t gonna “feel like you shouldn’t” for a while, resisting won’t magically make you feel better, but doing that compulsion will just make you more anxious and insecure and stressed in the long run and we don’t want that! Sadly the journey of treating OCD is long and uncomfortable, but being uncomfortable and uncertain is the only way you’ll be able to grow and eventually not need to be worried all the time. You need to think about the idea of you “hiding your terrible, bad, true self” from him and you need to sit with that thought, the anxiety it’ll make you feel is normal and will pass eventually, you need to sit with it and not try to challenge it in your head, and soon you will feel a bit better. Sitting with uncomfortable or worrying thoughts and allowing them to “maybe be right” is truly the only way you’ll eventually feel better. Now rationally, you know you aren’t “accidentally/secretly manipulating him by not telling him of these things you’ve done in the past”, you can’t accidentally trick him into liking you or thinking of you a certain way, that’s not how that works. Everyone has done weird things in the past for all different reasons, and we don’t all just blatantly confess them to people to make sure they know the “real us”. I guarantee your boyfriend has made bad decisions, has done weird things, everyone has, no human is perfect, but those things don’t have any basis on his character and so he hasn’t told you about them. That’s just a part of being human, you aren’t any more weird, terrible, or disturbed then anyone else, if you were you wouldn’t feel this worried and guilty. A good rule of thumb, bad people don’t feel bad about what they do. :)