help. need an expert's explanation

i automatically compulsive imagined a trigger se*ually and "attractively". As soon as I saw that i felt automatically instant arousal, not in the groin, but in my mind, as if I experienced attractiveness. As soon as that happened I instantly felt dread and distress, i was panicking, because it happened without my control, automatically. Can someone explain this why and how it happened? And if it's normal. Or if I did something irredimable.

POCD

that guy ove...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

Everyone gets tons of thoughts and they are not within our control. We with OCD read into intrusive thoughts as having some kind of meaning or think they are something that we want/defines us. They do not. They are thoughts and will float away if we allow them to do so. https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/is-it-possible-to-control-your-thoughts-what-experts-say#h-can-you-control-your-thoughts-what-the-science-says

ivefailed.

Date posted: 14h

this was not an intrusive thought. i felt it.

that guy ove...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@ivefailed. It can feel like it wasn't an intrusive though, and maybe it wasn't (maybe, maybe not), but you felt distressed and dred and it bothered you enough to talk about it. The thought and feeling was out of line with your values. Our minds and bodies sometimes have immediate reactions to a thought but that still doesn't mean they are what we want.

schocali

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

What you are experiencing is normal because arousal is an involuntary bodily function. When arousal is distressing it’s “intrusive arousal” and it is OCD being sneaky. The only thing your intrusive arousal means about you is you are human and you have OCD. Bodily functions you can’t control do not negate your morals and values therefore cannot make you a bad person. Anything saying otherwise is OCD and you don’t need to engage. We don’t have control over being triggered but we can control how we react to it. Don’t engage. You got this!!!

ivefailed.

Date posted: 13h

but it was in my brain, not in my groin. That's the issue.

schocali

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

@ivefailed. Arousal is physical but arousal is also very psychological. It is normal and you don’t have to engage. It happens and then it goes away, but the longer we focus on it the bigger it is and the worse it feels. It is what it is. You are allowed to let it go

ivefailed.

Date posted: 13h

@schocali it was automatic, i didn't want it at all

schocali

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

@ivefailed. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it right now

ivefailed.

Date posted: 13h

@schocali so it was real but not true as it was automatic?

schocali

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

@ivefailed. In my own experience with POCD, you have to reassure yourself that it was automatic and you don’t need to focus on bodily and brain functions you can’t control

ivefailed.

Date posted: 11h

@schocali i have no proof that it doesn't make me guilty even though it was automatic. It would mean that I felt attraction, arousal by default.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 10h

@schocali I tried to imagine automatically (compulsively) the trigger to look se&ual or attractive and it instantly worked because I felt a zap of arousal and i think what felt like attraction in my brain. It wasn't the "physiological arousal", it was mental. Like as soon as I created the image in a se&ual expression of itself I immediately felt a zap in my brain accompanied by automatic maliciousness/arousal; but it literally happened automatically I didn't want that to happen, it was followed immediately by dread and distress. Or was it a sort of emotional contagion from the se&ual expression and it automatically imposed on me? perceiving the se&ual look and forced attractive look because I imagined it in first person so i was the vehicle of such attributes instantly? So that se&ual look went through me?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond