I feel like I’m in denial

I read these stories and they tend to be about younger men and older women, however some of them trigger me cause they imply the character is much younger. I always try and see if I can justify a way it isn’t that, but then I see it’s just gross and I stop reading it. But I keep doing this cycle. I feel like I’m just denying I’m a creep. And if I am one, I need to tell my partner so they know I’m a bad person. Please help.