ROCD Rap?

To anyone who seeks the deeper message that you're reading, I'm bout to keep it real continue on to where I'm leading. Plant a seedling deep as your demons garden of eden, after you sown go before you know it, you're reaping. The problems that it's growing slow, maybe it is just a ruse, greenery ain't showing how could it with what you're going through? Mental issues blooming unprovoked undiagnosed, getting by at most within your vision line no sign of hope. It's a parasitic cloud, Taylor made a shade of Grey diminishes from time to time but never fully fades away. Like a song stuck in your head it lingers on everyday you say this process has a point? No fucking way. Maybe I'm just lying to myself denial piled in myself the truth revealed when I'm sitting here rhyming to myself. Burning in me like a wildfire hired for my health until I brake the guise I'm crying out for help! Ruminating on this several hours seven days up out the week, never coming close to answers that I'm setting out to seek. Shackled down by the jury in my mind that can't decide which way to sway, by the time that I arrived I wasn't free. I'm imprisoned by this system till I Conquer this disease I'm hanging by a metal thread connected to a copper lead. Depression, OCD, anxiety disorder? Please. Time to cut the crap at last and admit that the act is me. If anyone has read this any would like to read the second verse, let me know and I'll post it.

Relationship OCD

Maccaboo

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes please, love it!

222Anonymous222

Date posted: Yesterday

This was amazing! Def post the whole thing.

JLG323

Date posted: 16h

But then again.. I have been mostly but the keywords most there was a white lie with in a line I wrote, why because I have been diagnosed. Depression and anxiety, but most importantly my root theme? ROCD. For those of you that don't know allow me to explain, the definition of the reason I've been feeling this way. A sub type of OC, that targets your love life, agonizing constantly over whether your love's right. Or whether your love's real or if your living a lie, a painful doubt inside my mind I'm being eaten alive. Dropping dimes, spending so much time, locked in a bind I'm blind, feeling round for an out I have yet to find. Taking meaning from specific things I see throughout the day presenting never ending questions needing answered right away. If I think a certain thought, and immediately see whatever letter, word, or number that I have come to believe, holds a truth inside, then the thought is true I then decide, if it's bad I start to panic if it's good I'm flying high, for a bit. I may have it made and catch a break, then it's back, from the burner to the fore front of my mind! If a song or movie mentions a break up then it's a sign, that this bane of my existence is the truth that I deny. Books, quotes, and dreams, conversations they all seem to preach to me it's time to clean my roses gleam so I can clearly see. On the other hand this woman's dear to me a perfect fit a healthy love but that don't cease this fear in me. From time to time it's clear to me, when the smoke settles that my pain is not my truth like I'm finally hearing me I was convinced, that this search of mine would follow the truth, but all this time it seems that I have just been following loops. It's certainly hard to believe my subject matter is moot, but I am not the only one that this is happening to. It's not even my first relationship it's happening with, objectively it seems to me this OC patterns legit. In ways, I even view this nagging pain as a gift, for it had crumbled up but humbled me a thunderous shift. I'm not here to assure me and it's not to convince you, just to hear to tell you guys a truth that I currently go through I put in work along the current an ocean to row through. But even oceans end I hope one day I see the land and I finally reach the sand.... For now it's patience and trust.. a leap of faith and I jumped... I wish you well wish me luck.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond