My questions about false memories

A few months ago I suddenly had more severe symptoms of ocd and for the past month I have been experiencing what I hope are false memories. I have had issues with overthinking these past months over things I have said in the past but recently these false memories have been showing up when I think everything is fine. I experienced one earlier this month when I was finally at peace with everything. It was terrible because I didn’t know what a false memory even was and I was trying so hard to remember what really happened that it made school difficult to focus on. I went to the gym and life was alright, I stopped overthinking and came to peace with “this was very out of character and you have no concrete memory of what happened” (I typically have a good memory because of real event stuff, if this really happened then I would SURELY remember) but at Christmas Eve during service, i suddenly got this memory that had a similar thing to the first but at an entirely different setting and different people. This one was very very vague but the more I started thinking about it, the more my mind filled in blanks or remembered more things. Okay here’s where I ask questions (sorry for the long intro or exposition or whatever) Can your mind make up things to make a false memory seem more real? Is there anything about my experience that hints to false memories? Can false memories edit other memories to fit them? Why are these memories similar? Like is that a sign it isn’t real? Okay thank whoever is reading this to this point, I just want to live my life like how it was before and ocd or ocd symptoms have made me think this is my new normal. Just a question about ocd in general, does working out even help? My doctor told me I should but it didn’t for me so I am not sure. Seriously I need answers because no one else has posted about an experience like mine.

False Memory OCD

invaderzim

Date posted: Yesterday

I'm not an expert by any means but I have lived with OCD for 11 years and two years ago I was diagnosed officially and false memory was my first big theme. I had a false memory that I had *unalived* my grandpa mind you at the time he had died I was 6. But here's the thing it didn't matter how much evidence I had for my innocence like the fact that the night he died I was across town, he was already sick prior to me even being born, or the fact that my mom watched him pass. No matter how much evidence I had my mind came up with the perfect cenario that made me believe whole heartedly believe and "KNOW" for a "FACT" that I had done that, that I was entirely responsible. I spent years reviewing what I remember from that night from the nights prior and leading up to his passing and I put myself through hell trying to figure out if it was true even though deep down I knew it was not only not true but impossible. My point is you know it's not true. Deep down. But it's that uncertainty that keeps us in that loop that vicious OCD loop. So my only advice to you is sit with that uncertainty and that discomfort. I know it's hard trust me it took me years to get past that false memory and even though I'm now 20 I still sometimes have that doubt that OCD has instilled into my brain. Give yourself grace OCD is a monster, trust in yourself.

invaderzim

Date posted: Yesterday

@invaderzim I'm here to talk or listen if you need

Reallyparanoid

Date posted: 20h

@invaderzim It’s hard to trust myself though. I know it’s out of character for me to do this but what if I did it and I just forgot all the details?

invaderzim

Date posted: 3h

@Reallyparanoid It's so hard to trust yourself I know. But the fact that this thought or 'memory' concerns you just shows that whatever the action is, is out of character. Additionally there's no use trying to figure it out genuinely because no matter how hard you try and combat the truth of this action OCD will just push back harder. I know how difficult this is and sitting with the discomfort feels so impossible but its the only thing you can do. "Maybe I did do that, maybe I didn't."

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