So ocd

@Bubba100 Hey definitely be up for it, I am engaged to be married June next year so very similar time!

@Gettingmylifeback - congrats on the engagement! Can I ask how you've been doing? I'm really struggling with thinkings I'm just the exception.

@Bubba100 Thanks you to! Honestly up & down! When we first got engaged I was in a really good place so felt good, but after the initial bubble wore off my ocd started again like the whole you sure you want to marry a man etc & also linked to rocd like you sure he is the right man but i have very good days too. Just a rollercoaster. How are you?

@Gettingmylifeback - I was the exact same way! This episode of HOCD is so heavily tied to my ROCD I feel like a stranger and it sucks. The last time this happened was last December but since then I had been doing so good. Have you done ERP? Did you feel like it helped? Idk if you've ever felt this way, but I am about to start ERP and I feel like I'm just the exception and its gonna show me that I don't actually love my fiance so I'm freaking out. I'm glad you have good days, I try to really hold onto those

@Bubba100 100% very tied together! I feel lost in my own brain and it scares & confuses me. I feel exactly the same way i feel like i will be the exception - i was thinking about trying to get some meds but i worry the same

@Gettingmylifeback - I will say I started Fluvoxemine in January and I think it's definitely helped some, this episode is definitely not as bad as previous ones. Do you talk to your fiance about it? I told my fiance all of my thoughts even if it was a compulsion and he was like "I'm never going to leave you don't have to worry about that." But I still have so much anxiety about it, and honestly just so tired, its so draining

@Bubba100 Yeh he knows my subtype and he is fantastic, he doesn’t understand it fully but he trys and supports me that’s all I can ask for! Unfortunately NHS (uk health services) wait time for mental health support is so long medication isn’t an option for at least a few months yet but I think I need to try it. Had ocd specifically so ocd & rocd for 6 years on and off now

@Gettingmylifeback - Well I'm glad you have a great support though, I'm sorry its such a long wait time to try medications. I definitely think they could be helpful, but it can take a while to find the right med and dosage too. And same, I had my first episode I think at 17 and I'm 27 now. Glad we aren't alone in this!

@Bubba100 Yes definitely heard good things about it once the right dosage is found - did it take a lot of trial and error? Very similar mine was 18 and I am 24 now - I felt super alone and sort of resentful of my friends who had their late teens early 20’s with no worries but come through that now!

@Gettingmylifeback - I think it took me a while only because I was only diagnosed with OCD last year and previously they thought it was just anxiety. I have only been on meds once 5-6 years ago and then stopped because I was doing well. My current psychiatrist put me on fluvoxamine since its supposed to help with intrusive thoughts. I'm also really sensitive to side effects and that's more so what my trial and error was about. But I was put on fluvoxamine first after my OCD diagnosis. I'm still resentful HAHA I'm tired of this shit! so I totally get that. I also never really talked to them about this since I didn't know it was OCD and truthfully I was so embarrassed!

@Bubba100 Thats such a long time for diagnosis! Its so difficult figuring out what it is, I was just fortunate to be in therapy for exam stress at the time and she recognised ocd. Ah ok yeh i don’t want any side effects if possible - glad you’ve found what works! Haha to be honest sometimes I am but I always think I don’t know what they are going through, as they don’t know about my ocd and from the outside my life looks great as we travel alot so that’s how I have gotten over that really. I am more open about having ocd just only my fiance & sister know the subtypes. Did you find it hard to keep in touch & connected with friends?

@Gettingmylifeback - Yeah, I think my symptoms are pretty mild and I am definitely not as open about it as I should be in past therapy, but alas. Definitely a great way to look at it! And I definitely can find it hard sometimes. I've never been the type of person to have a huge group of friends, but I have my close circle. When I spiral it can be really hard to be present with them if I see them in person. Have you found it hard to stay connected?