Advice needed

So basically i have really bad ocd, but ill get to that. I was hanging out with my boyfriend, and i meant to say “STOP (his name)” and i accidentally said “STOP (ex’s name)” ans me and this ex only broke up like 4 months ago. 3? And i felt like such an asshole and i tried that saying my ex’s name then bfs name right after eachother super fast, but then my mind just replays my ex’s name over and over and over again. And it drives me insane since i did that. Does anyone have any advice. like i didnt mean to do it, i dont think about my ex, i assumed it was just reflex. Someone help me to stop with his name. i just feel so terrible, and because my ocd like just keeps making it worse and worse on me. And i just dont know, i feel like an asshole. Because me and this ex was tg like from august-late October and like my mind tries to tell me i wasnt mad in the situation but i hate being tickled alot, and my bf was tickling me, and id always get mad when my ex would do it (i think? My ocd tries to tell me other wise..) and so i called him his name. Me and my current bf have been dating 14 days now. and idk ive never done that before not once. i just feel so so bad. Hes told me hes almost accidentally called me his ex’s name while he was super tired. and i get its like a reflex but i feel so bad

Relationship OCD

sailorvenus

Date posted: Yesterday

I would definitely not stress out about it. This is so common and definitely just an accident. Also it’s okay to be thinking of an old relationship, while getting to know someone. It’s not anything scary. And October was only 2 months ago! This is definitely a big fear I have too in my relationship. I let my husband know hey I get this fear sometimes and if it ever happens, he would understand. The other day I almost slipped up and said an exes name when we were hooking up.

ocdinglehopper

Date posted: Yesterday

@sailorvenus Okay thank you so much. Because my new bf im so happy with him i just felt so mean. And me and my ex were literally TERRIBLE. For eachother and i like never think of him, so it totally caught me off guard

sailorvenus

Date posted: 23h

@ocdinglehopper DEFINITELY NOT mean at all! You deserve kindness! Also I was thinking about my ex (we had a bad relationship too) for 5 years straight after we broke up. There isn’t a time limit, everyone moves differently. Also, you just met this new guy. It’s still fresh and new, so it’ll make A LOT of sense your brain is gonna try and “ruin” things, make your brain ruminate, or feel the need to engage in compulsions or tell him things. A little advice that I wish I had… I don’t have to tell everyone my compulsions, especially new people. after my ex, I met people and went through a phase and because I didn’t realize how bad my ocd was and always needed reassurance, I gave into a lot of compulsions and when I left, I realized damn I didn’t even need to tell this person this or wow this is so normal, I don’t need to share this. I tried to remind myself what people without ocd think or live. They get thoughts just like us (intrusive thoughts), but they don’t ruminate or second guess it. So don’t ever think you are alone or are the only one. I so promise I have been there and you are not alone!! (Funny little humor: Ross from friends says Rachel’s name on accident 😂… I won’t give more details in case you haven’t seen the show)

sailorvenus

Date posted: 23h

@sailorvenus AND! Try to take things one step at a time!! It seems like you like this new guy!! Try to enjoy it, you really deserve it! Remember your worth and what you worked so hard to have in life. OCD will try to take that from you!

ocdinglehopper

Date posted: 20h

@sailorvenus Okay thank you so much! Like im fully over my ex. It didnt take long for me to get over him because of how everything went with us, and stuff. And i just truly never really liked him to begin with. But i do really like my new boyfriend

Skylar.Smith17

Date posted: Yesterday

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and I have definitely accidentally said my ex’s name randomly in conversation if he has been talked about recently, it happens. It hasn’t been that long for you so it’s probably fresh in your mind. Don’t worry too much about it, it’ll be okay!

ocdinglehopper

Date posted: Yesterday

@Skylar.Smith17 Thank you 🙏

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