Delusions

Hi so I have a huge fear of being delusional having schizophrenia and losing touch with reality so I've had crazy thoughts like what if clouds aren't real and stuff like what if nobody else are real and crazy thoughts like that however few months ago I had a thought that went like this what if I believe in lizard people that are hiding as people crazy right and just to make clear I DO NOT AND HAVE NOT BELIEVED ANY OF THE THOUGHTS AT ALL! But it feels like I do I've had thoughts like what if I believe this what if my grandma is one... I hate it I love my grandma and it breaks my heart having thoughts like this because I went to go see her for the second time in person I want to El Salvador to get some help you know I went to a mental hospital I didn't stay there or anything I just wanted to get diagnosed they told me I had health anxiety and not OCD at first it was OCD then health anxiety so I'm kind of confused but I know this got to be OCD anyway every time I was over there I kept having the thoughts like crazy thoughts like oh what if they can read my mind and stuff like that all kinds of crazy crap and at some times it feels like I actually do believe it or even worse feels real but deep down I'm like no this isn't real this isn't real I know these thoughts aren't real this isn't reality and it would feel so real I remember one time I was in the car it was late at night and I was with my aunt and a friend of hers and we were going home cuz in El Salvador everything is like far away obviously and she lives somewhere else from my grandma and it was like I don't know what it was deep personalization or something I don't know but I was just I felt like I feel weird I feel crazy like it felt real and these thoughts got here after the whole what if everyone else around me are not real just calm down and then I was watching YouTube and I thought came up of conspiracy theories and it came to lizard people for some reason and the movie like I don't know if y'all know a movie where it says obeying like buy stuff and it like some dude puts on glasses and he can see aliens and all that stuff I think that's what made it worse as well because I saw clips of that on Instagram obviously I know it's fiction but it's like oh my gosh and here's what I'm actually worried about and it kind of just like makes things worse for me I would get anxious right as if it were real and this is what f**** me up a lot and my anxious because I believe it or think it's real or I'm anxious about believing it and thinking it's real and that's where I get confused I mean I don't believe this but sometimes it feels like I'm lying to myself I feel like a liar but I know deep down when I'm calm and the anxiety isn't there I've got some ssris that really help like take away a lot of my anxiety but the thoughts are still there it helps me calm down and yesterday I had like the best day of my life I was calm I was able to do everything I had the thoughts but I just kept ignoring them it's like once I don't give it attention it goes away and I don't freak out but when I'm looking for the thought okay dude am I okay I just want to know am I am I okay am I schizophrenic I mean when I went to the mental hospital I explained I explained them my thoughts and from the beginning how I had hocd pocd and all that kind of OCD themes and then I want to help OCD while I was afraid of having cancer then schizophrenia then then believing delusions and that is my fear I am very afraid of believing delusions that would mean insane I don't know what to do anymore they told me I don't have schizophrenia thank God but like I just it feels horrible having intrusive thoughts about my family and other people I hate these thoughts so much I don't believe it but damn they feel so real and maybe because I try to avoid of giving myself reassurance and once I do give myself reassurance like this is not real this is not real then I thought comes up am I just saying this is not real because I actually think it's real or or something else and then I questioning wait do I believe this it feels like I believe this but then sometimes my worry isn't like what if I believe it it's almost like if I'm actually worrying it about if it's true and then I started getting more anxious because then I stopped my like whoa no no no I'm so scared of losing touch with reality and I am sorry for the long post I'm using this voice thing cuz it's so much to type I tried erp in the plane once it got really bad and it worked it really worked I sat down with the anxiety and the thoughts and then the anxiety just went away then the for the rest of the day once I landed your back in the in the states I felt good and then I took my medication that really helps me and it's in the medications for OCD when they told me that it's not OCD and it's health anxiety hypochondriac I sort of didn't know what to think at first but I know that this is obsessive compulsive sort of judging from I have mental I have compulsions and mental rumination and of course the obsessions I looked so many times in Reddit and on this app if someone has the same stuff that I am where they're actually like afraid of believing it and then again they're also afraid of going crazy or heck even if they think it's true even though deep down they know it's not it's just like these moments where I'm like really anxious in my head I feel disconnected but I know that there's a part of me and there is a part of me saying that this isn't true that this is OCD and that I know it's not true I know it's not deep down I know it's not true no matter how real it felt no matter whatever I've never actually believed it even though it felt so f****** real I've never believed the thoughts and I still continue to be on my way and be with my family has anyone else gone through something like this or something and if so what should I do