Perfectionism OCD

Hi all! My perfectionism OCD is rearing its ugly head, especially surrounding routines. It’s really making me feel like a failure and I’m struggling to navigate what I want versus what OCD wants. I enjoy routines but they can definitely become compulsive for me and I’m having a hard time finding where that line gets crossed. Does anyone have any experience with this, tips, or just words of encouragement?

Perfectionism OCD

ejg1999

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d

Remember that it’s not all or nothing — maybe try doing part of your routine but not the whole thing!

pickles516

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d

@ejg1999 This is a great idea! Thank you!!

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d

This resonates with me a lot. I agree with what ejg1999 says above. Also, I recommend trying some self compassion too (happy to share some ideas for SC exercises if you want some). I find that my perfectionism gets *very* critical when I inevitably don’t live up to its impossible standards — self-compassion helps me take care of myself while I ride the waves of distress.

pickles516

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

@Hobbit Yes, please!!! I would LOVE some SC ideas!

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8h

@pickles516 Yay! Here are a few that I use a fair amount: (1) RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) from Tara Brach has been a helpful tool for naming what I’m feeling and compassionately allowing it (not fighting it). There’s more info on this page on her site: https://www.tarabrach.com/rain-practice-radical-compassion/ (2) Recognizing a difficult moment/emotion/thought, reminding myself I’m not alone, and reminding myself to be kind with myself. This can sound like “This is hard and it’s okay that it’s hard / I can accept that this is hard. There are so many people out there with OCD experiencing the same fear / feeling what you are right now. You’re not alone. Let’s be gentle with ourself while we go through it.” (3) Resolving to only talk to myself the way I would talk to a sick child or baby animal. — And when I slip back into critical habits, acknowledging what happened compassionately (ex: “making new habits takes time”) and recommit to talking to myself kindly. (4) putting encouraging and kind notes to myself up around the house. Ex: “proud of you” is currently on my fridge. (5) asking myself what I need right now. Ex: food, rest, a walk, a cup of tea, fresh air, chatting with a friend, going to a coffee shop, etc. My OCD tends to steamroll my needs, so it can be a bit of an exposure sometimes to listen to myself here. I gave some examples of phrases I use above, but different phrases might resonate more with you. Kimberly Quinlan’s workbook, “Self-compassion for OCD” is incredibly helpful for specific exercises and finding phrases that you like. https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/self-compassion-workbook-for-ocd/ She also has a podcast and courses on her website. To be clear, goal of any of these exercises is *not* to get rid of the thought/feeling/fear (that would make it a compulsion). For me, I first need to accept and allow the thoughts /feelings I’m experiencing — and then use the self-compassion exercises to support myself while I ride the waves. Okay, that was a lot of info — hope something in there is helpful. Happy to share more, but this was already a fairly long monologue, so didn’t want to overwhelm 😜

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