This just isn't helping

Talking to someone won't fix such deeply-rooted avoidance behaviors. Revising my life goals isn't the answer --- if someone avoids *everything*, the solution is to tackle those things head on, not to decide life is worth living even if you are too ~~useless~~ disabled to do the things you want to do in life. I know that that is the solution, but I do *nothing* to change my situation. I put a pause on therapy for a reason, and this latest session just reaffirmed that. I need actual exposure therapy, actual assignments, actionable steps I can take to stop being like this. To be clear, I am not blaming my therapist for my overarching situation. I am blaming myself for being someone who is unwilling to try despite the consequences, not unless I am directly forced. In the end, only I can take the steps needed to change my life --- no therapist can make me do anything, so doesn't that mean this form of therapy cannot help me? OCD is not *really* my problem, just like social anxiety disorder is not actually the reason I am alone. My problem is that I am unwilling to do hard things. I am simply unwilling. That is the devastating thing about all this.

Young adults with OCD

mindfullymaddie

Date posted: 17h

i am similar in a couple ways. i have serious anxiety, agoraphobia, depression. no ocd diagnosis but my therapist brings up my obsession with “being in control” and “certainty” a lot. it feels easier to avoid problems than work through them but a big part of this is realising just ignoring it increases anxiety and frequency of thoughts and even tho it can feel relieving if you dont put the work in you dont see progress, when you do see progress not only is it relieving but you get this feeling of accomplishment. i also put things off and am hesitant to trust anything im told in any sort of counselling/therapy session mainly because i feel im already self aware and im not getting the sort of therapy i need but therapy only works with cooperation on both sides. if you go in thinking “i’ll try it and if it doesn’t work i’ll look at other options/try again” it feels a lot less demanding i find. i told my therapist a “worry” diary would be a lot of upkeep for me and so we changed what my homework was pretty much. doesn’t mean its a lost cause, just means whats being served to you isnt serving you.

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

You're completely right about the fact that avoidance only increases anxiety in the end. I know this intellectually but still find it so hard to sit with discomfort... I also relate to feeling like you are self-aware enough already and that you might not get much out of therapy because of this. It's frustrating knowing that I am the only person standing in the way of my own progress. Do you have any tips on getting yourself to push through avoidance behaviors and procrastination? I am tired of my own learned helplessness and defeatism, but the fact that I continue to choose the wrong decisions makes me feel like I'm not worth the effort anymore...

mindfullymaddie

Date posted: 15h

@Kai on the Wall act while you feel anxious and uncertain. i know it sounds stupid and backwards logic but its the best way to teach your brain to be desensitised to it. if you acknowledge it more as “i get triggered, i feel anxious and want to avoid, i’ll do it later, temporary relief” it frames it in a way that makes more sense. you arent lazy or avoidant your nervous system is just trying to protect you and in return makes it worse when anxious thoughts resurface. planning for anxiety and powering through also helps a lot a lot of the time i tell myself “its going to be uncomfortable but im going to do it anyway” and it really does help

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18h

So much for trying to use Reddit/Discord formatting on here lol

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