Feeling that something wrong🥺and totally disconnec

hello everyone. I've been suffering from OCD for a very long time, I've had a variety of OCD topics, but now there are more OCD relationships. Not so long ago, I was under a lot of stress because of one OCD topic that popped into my head. and because of that, I went to my mom for a while, with the baby. my mom screwed me up even worse there, she started saying that all my problems were because of my husband, I do not know where she got it from, she started turning me against him, saying that I did not have a serious illness and that I needed to get a divorce, that I needed to find a job there next to her. she hinted at it without saying it directly. because of this, my stress started to get even worse, I did not come to her at all because of the topic of relationships, everything was fine with us, my husband sent me to my mother just so that I could relax with the child and become easier. In the end, she got me so worked up that I didn't even want to go back to my own house, thinking there was a problem. after that, I started having OCD in my relationship again, every time I check my feelings for my husband, look at him and wait for the right feeling to appear, why is there a discount, why don't we kiss and hug like 18-year-olds in love forever, I started paying attention and clinging to everything. plus, I have a lot of excitement inside, I immediately start looking for similar stories on Reddit and here. always seem like something is wrong. I can't just be calm and happy, constantly thinking that something is wrong and I need to find a solution. sometimes there is also stylish irritation, tearfulness, as if nothing can be fixed. Of course, like everyone else, we have domestic quarrels, but I have never exaggerated them before. sometimes we get tired because of the hyperactivity of the child, we can quarrel because of fatigue. But he's a very good husband and father, he always helps me, he's always with my family, he loves me and I love him too, but I think, where are those butterflies in my stomach? and that makes me worry even more. Sometimes I just can't sleep. who has a similar story, how long has it been going on? I also want to note that I am pregnant at 17 weeks. Maybe that's why hormones play that way too? but I really want to get rid of it.

Relationship OCD

cyrene

Date posted: 4d

I've been dealing with ROCD since December, so you're not alone. Also, it can and will get better with ERP and time. ❤️‍🩹 I think the fact that you're pregnant is definitely impacting how severe your ROCD is, as your hormones are going to be more unstable while your baby is growing. Unfortunately, you cannot just "get rid" of it—OCD can be managed to a point of almost not being there, but it is still there! I would recommend working on *not* mentally reviewing every feeling, lack of feeling, interaction, and so on for what you believe to be the "correct" emotional responses. Having butterflies in your stomach is not the single sole factor for whether or not you love your partner—it is super normal to **not** get them after being in a long-term relationship/marriage, simply because you're used to your partner by that point. This is a good thing, not something scary! Not acting like 18 year olds is also not indicative of anything. The reality is that neither of you *are* 18 anymore—you're older, wiser, and have a lot more lived experience that impact the way you view the world and feel/process emotions. You're *simply more mature,* and there's nothing wrong with that, either. I think you may benefit from shifting your focus, when you notice that you are mentally reviewing or waiting to feel the "right" feeling (there isn't one, by the way), to something that you value and care about. With my own ROCD, I found that doing things with my fiancé like going out on a drive or cuddling helped me a lot. However, just doing things that you value in general is helpful. You do not need to engage with your thoughts, even though they feel urgent, scary, and you have the desire to figure them out right away. You need to continue living **your** life, not OCD's life!

tortuga017

Date posted: 4d

Thank you so much for such a wonderful, detailed answer. I've been struggling with OCD for a very long time, and about a year after my marriage, I also started having OCD in my relationship. I didn't even know at the beginning that it could happen, and I really almost went crazy thinking about it. I had already gone to a psychotherapist before, when I was 18 years old, even two, and I was in a hospital where they specialize in OCD. but as we can see, OCD does tend to come back with completely different topics. now I don't want to see a therapist, I don't know how much is right, but I think that I already know everything about OCD, and I don't want to tell you everything every time, and relive every thought. I also don't want antidepressants, especially during pregnancy. Please tell me!Ta, are you seeing a therapist, are you taking antidepressants? Do you think it is possible to learn to live with this disorder without a therapist? in the region where I currently live, there are very few specialists in this topic who are free and they can do worse, and online is very expensive, unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money right now. as for my OCD now, you know, ln has reached such a peak that my brain no longer believes that it can be better, that it will also pass, it even tries to assure me that it's not OCD at all, but that I'm comforting myself with it, and it's all over long ago, and I immediately It's getting so disturbing. I want my husband to feel only harmony when he comes home, that everything is fine, that everything is right and we will always be together. Instead, I immediately start having obsessive thoughts that "this is not your man, after the birth of children you became estranged altogether, you need a more romantic person, that's why you have an emptiness inside now" etc. Although I've been through so many dark nights. I just want everything to be the same as before. Yes, my husband is not a super romantic, he is shy and more serious, but he gives me flowers and fires, and most importantly, he is always there in difficult life situations, he will always help me with any problem and loves our child very much, he is very caring. But my eyes can't see it now, more often I get emotional, tearful. it seems to me that I underestimate my pregnancy, it seems to me, or it's the voice of OCD again, that it's not because of pregnancy, well, that hormones are being rebuilt, there's nothing colossal here. It's very hard to go through these icsls and believe that everything will be fine. my mom especially aggravated my OCD when I went to her place for a vacation. And we always think that moms are right, and after that there are a lot of intrusions.😰💔

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