Feeling Trapped

Does anyone else feel like this will never end? And the only way out is to accept your sexual orientation has changed even though you don’t think it has? My entire algorithm has me convinced I’m a lesbian because it’s all people coming out later in life or lesbian comedians or why “being with a women is better.” I don’t find the content relatable just more for my brain to latch on to. I know I fear things changing, and I know with sexuality you don’t have a choice. It just feels like my world is ending because my life is changing and I don’t want it to. Sometimes my thoughts are “What if” and sometimes they’re more concrete. That gets me too “like is it OCD if it’s not WHAT IF?” This post turned into a rant and sorry for that. I hope you made it this far, I’m just 29 married and 14 weeks pregnant feeling like my life is ending and I needed to let some feelings out.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Corle1

Date posted: 4d

I’m going through the same thing with sexual orientation and I hope things get better for both of us

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

@Corle1 Me too!

Cupake21211

Date posted: 4d

I agree like it used to make me feel like this is the only way and that I am not straight and only if I accept I would be peacefully a weird feeling but I realized even the idea of actually being that is not what makes me happy it’s my thought before my ocd with hocd started I never even cared I naturally felt feelings but now it’s like if I finally like awhile ago when I started to finally feel straight then I would get reminded like that but yeah I completely get it

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

@Cupake21211 I hear what you’re saying, it used to just be natural and now it’s so stressful

Cupake21211

Date posted: 4d

And even like I used to even pretend I’m a mom and stuff as a kid love cooking but later people made girls liking cooking bad and I try to not and I still love kids but I’m not able to hundred percent like before enjoy I still love kids but my friends said they don’t really like babies so I was scared I would start hating babies and like it’s not really stressful now as I know it’s a doubt but at that time it was just more annoying just because your never certain now I have no anxiety or stress about hocd but I was scared if I saw men doing bad or something bad I would get scared of men and feel attraction towards female back then ecpecially in airports my thoughts used to be really weird and in the airplane once I was getting another ocd thought

Corle1

Date posted: 4d

@Cupake21211 Your SOOCD got better how long did it take did you do therapy

Cupake21211

Date posted: 4d

@Corle1 I still deal with it and no I didn’t get theraphy yet but I will definitely start taking theraphy for my thoughts as I have other ocds as well but I feel I came to truth with it before I didn’t know this was even a ocd before now I know I realized this is just my ocd and I was suppressing my feelings and trying to make myself feel normal perfect and big coming to truth with the actual feelings I would feel and I stoped trying to do coping mechanism recently I was actually struggling with a completely different ocd but I realized coming to truth trying to stop the coping mechanism is important

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

@Cupake21211 I’m not sure whatcha mean by this

Cupake21211

Date posted: 4d

@Anonymous In other words I’m being more honest with my ocd and not suppressing my emotions at all .

Cupake21211

Date posted: 4d

Like I’m trying to accept the thoughts not trying to make myself get away from the thought so create another coping mechanism and making the ocd worse

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