- Username
- kaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don't know.. I have not yet met any therapists. I just can't now for some reasons. I started having so many intrusive thoughts and used to think about it all day long. Analysing and overanalysing everything and used to search up sexuality tests. While searching for sexuality tests i came across the term hocd. I don't think about such stuffs all day long nowadays but I do know it's somewhere there at the back of my mind to the point where I know I can never have a normal relationship again or hang out with my female friends like I used to do before. I don't actively think about it daily but there will be something that would trigger these thoughts in me like a dream or meeting any of my female friends after some time and feeling nervous around them
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
ohh okay. i suffer with dreams too. but the thing is mine are weird, almost as if my mind is creating the story as it goes along and it’s been happening for a while now but only with my hocd. and i always react in the dream how i would in real life and idk if it’s in real life or in the dream but i think and over analyze my hocd and i’ve noticed that i always wake up right after these dreams so i think they’re mind controlled in the state of me being between sleep and awake
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
and also nowadays almost all girls around my age mess around and call each other wife and stuff like that and i’ve always thought it was kind of weird and that makes me think i’m gay and don’t know it. and also i’ve never been uncomfortable hugging girls, but i just never would be like “i wanna hug her” and most of my freiends (girls) always want these long tight hugs from each other and i find it kinda weird cause it literally looks like a hug you would have with your bf, and the fact that i find it kinda weird also makes me think i’m gay. and i can’t remember if i thought it was weird before my hocd or not. ugh this sucks
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same! When I had a boyfriend we were in a secret relationship because of family issues but I always wanted to just go out and tell everyone and post pictures of us together as everyone else and used to feel jealous but now I really don't want a relationship with any guy.. I also can't imagine myself kissing a guy. Yes i will be like oh he's cute and blush when i would watch any video of my male celebrity crushes but i would not like if any guy would kiss me . I also feel relief thinking about being single my whole life . I also hated tight hugs or changing around other girls and now it's making me think otherwise
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
do you have hocd?
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
mines a little different, i can imagine myself kissing a guy and i see some guys and i do want to kiss them and i feel sad and angry if i think about being single my whole life
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hmm.. Believe It or not I am 23 and never properly kissed anyone. I mean it explains I have only been in 1 relationship once for 6 years in such a reserved Indian family I just wish I had more experience that would may be clear any of my doubts. I just wish not to have any thoughts and not care about what my sexuality is but it keeps coming back to my head.
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
yea. i’ve always been told by people that the more you do, the more you want. so most girls in my grade and age do too much that they shouldn’t be doing already so this makes them want more. and i haven’t done anything, even kiss anyone so i don’t want more. so for example i want to kiss a boy but i’m scared and i don’t want to do anything sexual yet because i haven’t done anything so i don’t want more yet. but my hocd makes me think otherwise
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I understand I was like this before. Not because I would want more but because I want to experience everything after marriage not anything before but nowadays even the word relationship/marriage scares me. The only thing important to me now are some of my dreams that I want to fulfill but even this makes me anxious
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And that's the reason I never had sexual experience till date even though I am 23
- Username
- garden garden
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I completely relate to all of this
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah i used to imagine myself kissing guys in the past but I don't why I was convinced somehow that I don't like it or never liked it.
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
i’m young, and have never kissed anyone besides family. and i feel like everyone else my age has and all the other girls my age are wanting to sneak out and have sex and do all these sexual things and i don’t want to do any of it yet and it makes me think i’m gay. it disgusts me to think about me doing any of that with a girl and it doesn’t disgust me when i think about doing it with a guy but i have no want or desire to do it as of rn. and to be quite honest, i’m scared to. but that’s also how i was raised. my mom got pregnant at a young age so she’s always told me not to do any of that until later on. and i’m also scared that if i ever do something sexual before then age my parents want me to, i’m gonna get caught. so idk this all triggers my hocd
- Username
- prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 5y ago
In any kind of hocd mind is always the one creating such things. It just plays games with you.. Have you been diagnosed with hocd?
- Username
- kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y ago
well no i haven’t so i guess i don’t actually know if i do or not but it seems like the only answer to all of this
Related posts
- Username
- morgan?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m confused why I can’t imagine having a boyfriend! It’s kinda causing me so distress because I really want some and then their is another part of me that’s like no you don’t is this my anxiety or just me or could I be asexual? I also suffer from hocd
- Username
- gisellem
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)
- Username
- morgan?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ok so this might be long might not but I’m going to try and explain this very well ok so I have always dreamed about having a boyfriend and I’ll read novels and want that for me and I can imagine myself with a guy when I’m older and happy but right now I can’t whenever I try to think about it I get anxious and just want to cry cause more than anything in the world I want happiness but ever since I got hocd whenever a guy tells me they like me all I want to do I stop them from liking me and want to tell them to stop liking me I get an anxious type feeling and lately I have had the theme of asexuality like “am I an asexual? What if I turn asexual? What if because I get these weird feeling about boys liking me does that make me asexual?” I need some opinions of what people think and I also don’t know these could be new feelings to me I just have never dated or had a boyfriend I want one but at the same time “myself” doesn’t want me having one! What do you think?
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