- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't know.. I have not yet met any therapists. I just can't now for some reasons. I started having so many intrusive thoughts and used to think about it all day long. Analysing and overanalysing everything and used to search up sexuality tests. While searching for sexuality tests i came across the term hocd. I don't think about such stuffs all day long nowadays but I do know it's somewhere there at the back of my mind to the point where I know I can never have a normal relationship again or hang out with my female friends like I used to do before. I don't actively think about it daily but there will be something that would trigger these thoughts in me like a dream or meeting any of my female friends after some time and feeling nervous around them
- Date posted
- 5y
ohh okay. i suffer with dreams too. but the thing is mine are weird, almost as if my mind is creating the story as it goes along and it’s been happening for a while now but only with my hocd. and i always react in the dream how i would in real life and idk if it’s in real life or in the dream but i think and over analyze my hocd and i’ve noticed that i always wake up right after these dreams so i think they’re mind controlled in the state of me being between sleep and awake
- Date posted
- 5y
and also nowadays almost all girls around my age mess around and call each other wife and stuff like that and i’ve always thought it was kind of weird and that makes me think i’m gay and don’t know it. and also i’ve never been uncomfortable hugging girls, but i just never would be like “i wanna hug her” and most of my freiends (girls) always want these long tight hugs from each other and i find it kinda weird cause it literally looks like a hug you would have with your bf, and the fact that i find it kinda weird also makes me think i’m gay. and i can’t remember if i thought it was weird before my hocd or not. ugh this sucks
- Date posted
- 5y
Same! When I had a boyfriend we were in a secret relationship because of family issues but I always wanted to just go out and tell everyone and post pictures of us together as everyone else and used to feel jealous but now I really don't want a relationship with any guy.. I also can't imagine myself kissing a guy. Yes i will be like oh he's cute and blush when i would watch any video of my male celebrity crushes but i would not like if any guy would kiss me . I also feel relief thinking about being single my whole life . I also hated tight hugs or changing around other girls and now it's making me think otherwise
- Date posted
- 5y
do you have hocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
mines a little different, i can imagine myself kissing a guy and i see some guys and i do want to kiss them and i feel sad and angry if i think about being single my whole life
- Date posted
- 5y
Hmm.. Believe It or not I am 23 and never properly kissed anyone. I mean it explains I have only been in 1 relationship once for 6 years in such a reserved Indian family I just wish I had more experience that would may be clear any of my doubts. I just wish not to have any thoughts and not care about what my sexuality is but it keeps coming back to my head.
- Date posted
- 5y
yea. i’ve always been told by people that the more you do, the more you want. so most girls in my grade and age do too much that they shouldn’t be doing already so this makes them want more. and i haven’t done anything, even kiss anyone so i don’t want more. so for example i want to kiss a boy but i’m scared and i don’t want to do anything sexual yet because i haven’t done anything so i don’t want more yet. but my hocd makes me think otherwise
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand I was like this before. Not because I would want more but because I want to experience everything after marriage not anything before but nowadays even the word relationship/marriage scares me. The only thing important to me now are some of my dreams that I want to fulfill but even this makes me anxious
- Date posted
- 5y
And that's the reason I never had sexual experience till date even though I am 23
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely relate to all of this
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah i used to imagine myself kissing guys in the past but I don't why I was convinced somehow that I don't like it or never liked it.
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m young, and have never kissed anyone besides family. and i feel like everyone else my age has and all the other girls my age are wanting to sneak out and have sex and do all these sexual things and i don’t want to do any of it yet and it makes me think i’m gay. it disgusts me to think about me doing any of that with a girl and it doesn’t disgust me when i think about doing it with a guy but i have no want or desire to do it as of rn. and to be quite honest, i’m scared to. but that’s also how i was raised. my mom got pregnant at a young age so she’s always told me not to do any of that until later on. and i’m also scared that if i ever do something sexual before then age my parents want me to, i’m gonna get caught. so idk this all triggers my hocd
- Date posted
- 5y
In any kind of hocd mind is always the one creating such things. It just plays games with you.. Have you been diagnosed with hocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
well no i haven’t so i guess i don’t actually know if i do or not but it seems like the only answer to all of this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
- Date posted
- 16w
I don't know for sure if I have HOCD, but it seems like I do, I tried to accept the idea that I'm gay, I felt calm, and then I started to get scared because I didn't feel anxiety anymore, I still feel attracted to my girlfriend, both physically and emotionally, but I feel an attraction to boys, sometimes I panic when I feel attracted and sometimes I don't (but most of the time I do) and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend I want to get back to normal
- Date posted
- 14w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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