Please Help

I’m so upset I feel like I never loved or liked my husband and I’ve liked being around him and everything he does makes me feel repulsed. I refuse to leave him I meant it when I said forever when we got married. He is so strong, intelligent, hardworking, responsible, caring, kind, honest, supportive, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, steadfast, patient and so many other things. I just want to feel attracted and love towards him. The only thing keeping me from fully freaking out is our marriage and knowing that commitment for me is forever it gives some thoughts less power but then I think ocd likes to turn that into “but that means you’ll be trapped in a miserable marriage forever” even though I’m so blessed to have an amazing husband. Please help I feel like I’m the exception and this isn’t ROCD anymore especially because the thoughts aren’t always anxiety inducing and I feel like I’m faking it and I keep trying to feel good in my marriage but just can’t.

Relationship OCD

Nia18

Date posted: 16h

Hey love, ocd can throw feelings or lack of it at you, too

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

Have u done this before and then later looked back like omg how did I ever think that etc. kinda like these thoughts come & go or are there periods where it’s not like this? Also do u have a therapist helping u with this? I really think they will be able to help lead u & guide u the best as im sure lots of us struggle with similar things… i think we talked before abt an exposure around this. I know your other symptoms on that post def sound like OCD so I’m sure where this isn’t quite like that it feels diff, however whether it is OCD or not what you’re struggling with it sounds like is still uncertainty. Try sitting with the fact this all could be true. Or it couldn’t be, whatever fears arise with that that cause discomfort such as I’ve waisted time or his time etc just sit with the fact that maybe u have or haven’t and know that no amount of rumination can give u the answer your brain is looking for. Do u have a therapist helping u?

Iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 12h

@Soliel I’m starting with one - so you think this all isn’t ocd??

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

@Iwanttogetbetter2025 I think reassuring u that it is probably isn’t healthy for u. I’m also not a therapist, so I don’t want to give you any advice that would hurt your situation. Are u able to join any support groups? Are u struggling with knowing if you’ve always felt this way? Or do u know this isn’t something that you normally struggle with on the daily?

Iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 12h

@Soliel I’m panicking - I’m so sorry but do you think this is ocd?

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

@Iwanttogetbetter2025 I ask bc I have done this and even thought I need to leave bc of this and sometimes caused little breaks or whatever but all to wake up one day and realize omg yes that was just an OCD spiral…. And now u gotta fix everything u kinda broke but not fully thank God cause u weren’t 💯sure of what was going on in your head. So even tho reassurance won’t help u I do think it’s OCD trying to get u. How are u responding/talking to these thoughts?

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

@Iwanttogetbetter2025 Have u tried the ocd episode support button?

Iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 12h

@Soliel I have but I’m not sure I’m doing it right. I start with the actual ERP this week and I want to do it but I’m scared

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

Def do it! (The ERP I mean). The button may not be helpful if you don’t know what exposure to do but they say to sit in the uncertainty of your fears…. If it feels like u have to settle this RIGHT NOW it’s probably def OCD. Even if u did make the wrong life choice you don’t need to figure that out right this second even tho it feels like u do. How are you responding to these thoughts right now if u feel comfortable sharing?

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