How to deal with POCD

About a year ago I babysat a kid and I had to bring him/ help him to the bathroom and then we went down stairs to the playroom and played with cars and stickers. He dropped a sticker so I picked the sticker up but my head went down to grab it near that area and instantly I got a thought in my head like what if I just did something bad in the bathroom upstairs and I don't remember it.. Of course I would remeber something like that happening but POCD can make it seem so real... I feel like a terrible person and Ive been thinking about ways to forget it and it makes me want to rewind time to just make sure even though I know deep down nothing happend its just a scary thought I feel guilty for something I didn't even do. I love kids too Im a nanny so its my job, and I heard OCD can trigger the things you love the most. Anyone have any advice please to calm down this thought?

POCD

no.comment

Date posted: Yesterday

Hii, I've REALLY struggled w pocd and it sucks. I'm a teacher and worked w kids for a LONG time and I love working with them and yes ocd does attach to your morals and values meaning the things and ppl you love and care abt the most. It's absolutely easier said than done but be ok with accepting the thoughts. Remember that accepting doesn't mean approving the thoughts, it's just like looking at a fire and being like "ok, that fire is there" not "oh cool a fire i hope it hurts me" yk? YOU GOT THIS

zogeez

Date posted: Yesterday

@no.comment this was so helpful 🫶

lizxx

Date posted: Yesterday

@no.comment It’s really difficult.. & I know it’s just my ocd because i’m looking for reassurance I was thinking was there any cameras I could check or did the baby monitor catch anything stuff like that and I know it’s my ocd because I kept trying to find answers.. I also totally forgot about this thought for a long long time but now my anxiety is flaring up again and that’s why the thought is so intense… But I appreciate you taking the time to explain and help out! Thank you(:

no.comment

Date posted: Yesterday

Also try doing exposures of like getting slightly closer to them. For example let's say you're right next to them and wave at them or grab something right? Then drop your hand down until it's close to them. These types of exposures would FREAK me out, they were horrible and I would avoid them bit believe me when I tell you that this helped me recover. Maybe even the occasional high five or "i love you" or "you're so cute" can be a great exposure but I really struggle to say stuff like that still

Lufia

Date posted: Yesterday

I don't struggle with POCD, but I have had some sexual intrusive thoughts with people that would be taboo that made me feel horrified of myself, so I do relate a little, and I can share what worked for me. I think an important part of this sort of anxiety is to remember that you wouldn't be scared of it if it didn't matter to you. Fear means you value safety. OCD turns it into a weapon by invalidating your safety. Knowing you did no wrong becomes invalidated by a possible memory lapse, insisting you "must" have done something that you can't remember. Exposing yourself to these possibilities is a good idea for ERP, but have you thought about writing down everything that happened when you took a child to the bathroom? You might find it to be more helpful to have that record of what happened in the bathroom, then sit with the knowledge that what you wrote is what happened and you aren't mistaking or erasing any of what happened. Since this incident already happened, maybe just rewriting it as you remember it is the best you can do, but in the future, maybe?

lizxx

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lufia you have no idea how much this just helped me a lot of the things you said I never thought about especailly the fear values and safety it’s so true.. I care deeply about the kids I nanny for and could never see myself doing such a thing but ocd likes to trigger us and the things we value. Thank you for your help!

lizxx

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lufia Also to add I did write down step by step that day and it helped out a little bit but this about a year ago and the thoughts calmed down so much but they are back again because my anxiety is heightened and i’m nannying for a new family. It’s just a difficult time right now.

Lufia

Date posted: Yesterday

@lizxx It takes time, but I'm glad I could help. 😊 Keep strong, you'll definitely beat this some day. And don't be so hard on yourself! Anxiety loves to keep you on your toes, but remember who you are. You want what is best for the children, and you would feel ten times that distress if you managed to hurt them. Once the new job jitters die down, I'm sure it'll fall into place for you. You've got this!

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