Hocd

@disgrig011399 Thank you. I’m just kinda confused because i am straight i Think and i like the idea of being in relationship but when things get real and someone will acctually talk to me i feel like i need to push them away. I really like being alone and i think that it’s just what i need right now but this whole thing is making me also believe that maybe i just never wanted men in the first place but i just wanted them to like me and i was just in denial. Idk, now i have this weird back and forth where one moment I’m completely fine and i believe i just overreacted and next i’m overthinking my identity. Lately i stopped feeling anxious and it’s making me believe that i just accepted the fact that i might be into women. I don’t know what even triggered it in the first place. If i were to go to some therapist do you Think it should be someone who specializes in ocd or i can just go to the regular one?

@Anonymousgirl4 We all have the desire to be cared about and likewise have someone that we also care about. Part of finding that person is being able to live happily on your own. Your ability to already do this is amazing. It shows a strong sense of self and can serve as inspiration for what you’d like to do with your life. The rest is just living. Going through the ups and downs, building experience, and just making the most of life. When the time is right, you and that other person will find one another. Regarding therapy, I’d recommend scheduling a consultation with NOCD. After you explain your situation, they’ll be able to better determine if OCD is the cause or if there’s something else

@disgrig011399 Thank you again. I think i will try scheduling meeting with nocd therapist if the thoughts will come back. Wish u the best!

@Anonymousgirl4 This is literally me!!!!

@jag92 I saw few videos and stuff where people were explaining that it might be avoidant attachment style, idk if it really is that but I looked at one of ur posts and I feel like we’re experiencing very similar thing. It’s like I can have crush on somebody, I want that guy to look at me and catch eye contact and stuff but as soon as I can see that he actually looks back and shows that he might also like me, I want to literally run away and never see him again. I feel this weird like mix of being anxious and nauseous. I overall find myself being stressed and trapped when I’m getting too close to people, I don’t really open up to anybody and if I do I regret it afterwards so maybe I’m just scared to let anyone new get to know me. But it really sucks because I do want to have boyfriend some day, at least I think I do since I question it all the time lol. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone tho, ur not alone either so I just hope we both can get through this!

@Anonymousgirl4 Thankyou!! Yeah that makes sense!! So nice to know I’m not alone! I’m 34 now and I really want my son to have a sibling and I don’t want to be alone forever so I really feel like I’m running out of time but I’m also happy when I’m not thinking about relationships (even though that’s like 24-7 atm)