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@Anonymous I understand. Its healthy to question our beliefs and faith because it helps us get used to uncertainty. And without uncertainty we cant really have faith anyway! Ill tell you what helped me with the concepts of hell and fears. I did some researching on different beliefs around hell and the afterlife from different Christian theologians. Did you know many Christians do not believe in a literal hell that lasts forever? Or many believe that we just end and dont go to an afterlife? Or that God will forgive everyone in hell eventually? Or that there is no literal fire in hell? There are so many different theories of hell. And if theologians throughout the centuries dont know and can interpret the Bible differently so can we! This increased my tolerance of uncertainty and helped me realize that all faith is speculation and no one, NO ONE knows for sure if we are all going to hell or if no one is. And we have to accept that we will never know for sure in this life time.

@Anonymous I only see this one post but please try to believe that you don’t have to work for God or try to earn his love and support. God meets you where you are and holds your hand through the process. It’s okay to question religion I do it all the time. It’s something at my college ministry we do all the time. It’s actually encouraged to question what God does in the Bible. Back when the Bible was being written when they would question something it was celebrated because it was a sign to dive deeper into what they were looking at and study it. The Bible is meant to be studied and you’re going to have moments of doubt, confusion and question your religion. There are stories in the Bible of people who had a hard time having faith (I can’t remember any right now). It’s okay to question things I do all the time. I have so many “is any of this even real” moments all the time. But when you choose to have faith through that, that’s what matters. And you don’t have to do that right away either. I think the perspective you have of God is some almighty ruler who’s ruling with an iron fist and doesn’t care about you. (It’s hard for me to let go of that image too) but he cares about what you want and he also gave you free will to make your own decisions. I don’t know if any of that helped but I hope you can find what God really feels like and accept that love (it’s already given to you, you don’t need to do anything for it)