There's been times where I had horrible pocd thoughts and I felt like I wanted to touch myself in response to them or something. Or felt intense groinal response more than my usual arousal. Like it felt like I was holding myself back even tho its so foul. And im worried that means its true. It's almost like flight or fight but I feel like im covering something up.
OCD thrives on doubt. When it ramps up intensity the doubt grows and therefore the ocd is fed. It’s no fun and i know how bad ocd sucks, but recovery is simple. Accept you’ve got ocd, your gonna have very uncomfortable thoughts, and once you’ve accepted that. You deprive it of any attention outside of acknowledging it’s there. It’s hard and your response won’t be perfect but consistently separating yourself from the ocd. (Acknowledging the thought and giving it as little attention as possible) over and over and over as it gets easier and easier eventually leads to recovery!
I notice whenever I start to be better at this i begin to relapse bc I doubt that its ocd.
@ran_0fff You and everyone else with ocd. Doubt man. It lives off doubt. We can’t be 100% certain about anything in life. That’s why “maybe, maybe not” is a common response to ocd. And I know when you’re worried about something so serious it’s so hard to accept the uncertainty around it. That’s why ocd recovery is so tough, but that’s why radical acceptance is the way out! We have to accept our reality of having ocd, and we’re gonna have uncomfortable moments, thoughts, but we can control our response to them: and in that response is where we find our freedom
OCD can make anything feel real. Even the worst things you can imagine. Thats why every theme feels so real and personal to every person according to what scares them the most. I hope I'm not doing reassurance stuff but all I can say is that you being here on this app should be a good indicator that your worries are very unlikely. I don't have this theme personally but from my other themes, my mind was simulating "what ifs" related to my intrusive thoughts where everything felt so real and personal. But the more I tried to argue with it or prove it wrong or analyze, I got sucked deeper into the loop which just amplified everything. I think it's best to just label it as OCD/intrusive without attaching meaning to it. Make it boring. The doubt that it's not OCD is a very scary thing. But here's the thing: Even if you got 100% proof that youre not a bad person and that this is all just OCD, there will always be a doubt or "what if". Choosing to not let your worries and thoughts control and define you and simply continuing to live by your morals is very powerful.
the thing is my ocd didnt start out as pocd but rapidly trickled into that and idk why. I've had many other themes that intertwined but this theme just has stuck and been the most relentless. Even when I dont care its still there. Its like never not there unlike my other themes that kinda come and go.
@ran_0fff I relate to that, there's a theme that's been stuck with me and it's been persistent. In my experience (after nonstop hours of analyzing for nearly 3 months straight), it could be for multiple reasons that are very particular and complex but I don't think it's denial. Sometimes there are things that we don't even consider as reasons for why a theme is so persistent. The mind is very very complex and OCD takes advantage of that complexity which makes everything feel so confusing. I spent hours every single day for months trying to understand it and honestly there's levels to this stuff that go so deep it makes you realize why OCD is so misunderstood and complicated.
@Marina Pacheco my problem is what if it is denial, especially bc i dont really see anyone else with this experience
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
