Extreme guilt over AI use

I've been using AI on and off for a little under a year and even though I recently stopped I can't stop feeling so guilty. I knew some of the problems it had and while I was against it for the most part, I still shamefully resorted to using it for things like roleplay and as a compulsion for OCD anxieties. I confessed some personal real-life situations to it and feel sick that my chats will be leaked and linked to me. My friends are extremely against generative AI and have said they hate people that use it, so now I feel like a hypocrite and that I'm going to be cancelled. I just don't feel like I deserve anything anymore because of this and it's been extremely difficult. I can't bring myself to make major life decisions out of fear of being found out, I avoid talking to my friends because I feel like I'm disguising myself as a good person to them, I don't feel like I deserve to be an artist and writer anymore because I used it in creative ways. I feel like my life is ruined because of this and I just don't know how to forgive myself.

OhCDaisy

Date posted: 10h

I feel you on using it for compulsions. I once asked it the same question for 5 hours straight. Also feel you on telling it personal information and then being scared it's gonna get leaked. Also used it once to help me write a cover letter and thought the job would know I used it and not call me. UGH. Just an FYI, this is all just OCD. I won't reassure you, but I will tell you your anxiety is OCD .You're okay. I don't think you're evil for using it. It is helpful in some aspects and it's only human to want to use it. Give yourself some kindness:)

mjr-rust

Date posted: 10h

@OhCDaisy Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with these worries. It can be hard to recognize the extent to which my worries are valid or just OCD, but either way I will try giving myself some grace for this. OCD sucks! :(

OhCDaisy

Date posted: 10h

@mjr-rust That is my NUMBER ONE problem. It takes me a long time to figure out if it's real or not. It's annoying and I hate it and BLAH. I found it helpful when people started pointing it out. Pulls me out of it. Or instead of thinking "chat GPT is going to leak all of my information", I change it to, "I am having a thought that chat gpt is going to leak all my information". Because the brain is stupid and it likes to lie. Just cuz I think something doesn't mean it's true :)

Emmba

Date posted: 10h

If this makes you feel better- I’m an environmental science major and I still use ai and so do a lot of people in the field. The people that are destroying it are the people generating giant videos using ai. You chatting with ai every so often is not doing anything. Those data bases that are destroying the environment are also there for more than just ai. I suggest maybe looking into and what is safe and what’s not. Ai will always be around and I think it’s good to learn how we can use it in a sustainable way (we need law regulation) rather than ban it all right. Please be kind to yourself. I’m sure many artist used google for inspiration before ai, it’s almost the same thing. You’re okay and I hope this helped

mjr-rust

Date posted: 10h

@Emmba Thank you for your perspective :) I agree that we have to find better ways to use it since it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon. And researching the good and bad of it could be helpful for me too. I think I just tend to see things very black and white sometimes so thank you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 7h

I can understand disliking generative AI (tho, i do not), but why would your friends hate someone for using generative AI? Sounds extreme

mjr-rust

Date posted: 6h

@Anonymous Maybe hate wasn't the right word but they have directly said that people who use generative AI suck. But yes, I understand the action just not disliking people because of that. And as you can see that's where my OCD has latched on. Oof.

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