- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I have good days and bad...but I just found this girl I’m starting to really love and even when I imagine sex with her and I get into it..out of nowhere, my mind will say “but what if she grew a dick” or something like that smh... Keep your head up...don’t let fear run your life..that’s all this is. FEAR
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear you bro I hope to find a new girl soon, I’m always sad most of the time when I get these thoughts these days, I just tear up rather than feel anxiety I don’t even know what that means too
- Date posted
- 5y
I got that same problem bro. I have thoughts like “would the sex be even good? Is something missing?”
- Date posted
- 5y
Mind you I’m not a virgin but I’ve only had a few sexual partners and I never had a lot of time with any of them to really learn or enjoy sex so that definitely fuels the hocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Get a therapist...I broke down and told Mine and she understands me better than anyone...wouldn’t lie......it’s been amazing
- Date posted
- 5y
Some days watching porn is okay and sometimes it’s torture because i I get super anxious when I look at the guy and it’s so much so that I feel like my dick is getting harder but when I Look at it it’s the same I know this is too deep but I need help
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand what you’re going through. It’s impossible to separate the two....I’ve decreased my viewing. I get too much in my head
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro watching porn going out being with girls used to be the great and now I can’t even Chill with my female friends while I’m the only dude because I feel like I’m gay and when I’m at school i avoid them because they are always in packs and I’m friends with most girls because I wanted them, or we have history but now it’s all different dawg
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah...what u described is exactly what I go thru.... When I calm down I realize it’s all in my head. I’m analyzing too much...what’s natural and effortless is what I am.
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro I got this thing at the pinnacle of my life i had just gotten into a new relationship and it messed it up I’ve been living with this for 10 months and it’s been hell every guy on tv gives me anxiety bro I can’t even enjoy watching shit
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry I’m just seeing this now. Try and become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Also, what do your experiences tell you?
- Date posted
- 5y
I just have a lot of unwanted homosexual thoughts On my worst day every guy on tv makes me anxious I have a lot of speech errors about things I’d never say I would want to say I want pussy but say dick by mistake ???
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 It is important not to avoid the thoughts. You can’t prevent unwanted thoughts from entering your mind. You have to try and accept your thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
A good therapist is a lot of help and can speed up your recovery.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have two bad experiences with therapists how on a scale of one to ten how are you guys feeling
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 I’ve had several bad experiences with therapists before finding the right match. Keep looking!
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- 5y
@taylorn I went to free therapists I can’t afford one I’m still in college but I wanna get a job and then look for one
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- 5y
@Mod22 Do you have insurance?
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- 5y
@taylorn Unfortunately not
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 Perhaps looking into Obamacare, or if you’re in college, you can look into the school’s insurance plan for students.
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- 5y
@taylorn I’m in South Africa so I don’t know if they can donate for me if I’m here
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- 5y
I recommend you start looking. I’m sure many therapist can offer an alternative payment plan.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m in South Africa
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- 5y
@Mod22 Hmmm I’m sure there are certain services for free
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- 5y
@taylorn They are I went to the university therapist and they don’t specialize in Ocd hence I need to find a job
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- 5y
I want to overcome porn too. Its really makes me broken. I dont know how to.
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s fucked up fam
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a gay related dream it was two guys having sex but i wasn’t a part of it like porn and I was watching I don’t want to have this dreams I’m just glad I didn’t get a hard on. I was scared when I woke up but the anxiety didn’t even last due to lack of anxiety and not panicking, does it mean that I am gay now? ?? I don’t know anymore also I can feel that my mind doesn’t care it wants to move on does it mean that I’ve also normalized this?
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the gay dreams every night. No anxiety just fear and confusion. I can only sleep 4-5 hrs a night. Wake up with more anxious thoughts swirling as I lay in bed in confusion. Don’t wait to get a good therapist and suffer like me...get some serious help bro ASAP
- Date posted
- 5y
Did you believe you were gay before the onset of your OCD symptoms?
- Date posted
- 5y
No I was in a relationship and I loved girls more than anything I never thought I’d have this ocd in my wildest dream
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- 5y
@Mod22 What does that tell you?
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- 5y
@taylorn That I have Ocd but they feel real sometimes
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldn’t give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we weren’t going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasn’t true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, “Oh, there’s other hotter girls” and, “Your ex looked so much better.” and I couldn’t stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, “what if you don’t like her because you’re secretly gay?”. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, “thoughts are just thoughts” method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary “American Murder: Gabby Petito” and all of a sudden my mind began to think, “What if I’m secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?”. For about a week straight, It’s all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didn’t know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didn’t know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, “You want to kill your gf because you’re just gay”. This sent me into such great panic, I couldn’t eat for days and couldn’t feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I can’t stop “checking”. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is “good” enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that I’m more than just gay. Truth is, I don’t know anymore. I’ve always loved girls and my gf. I don’t know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. I’ve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
- Date posted
- 19w
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
- Date posted
- 18w
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
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