- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I have good days and bad...but I just found this girl I’m starting to really love and even when I imagine sex with her and I get into it..out of nowhere, my mind will say “but what if she grew a dick” or something like that smh... Keep your head up...don’t let fear run your life..that’s all this is. FEAR
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear you bro I hope to find a new girl soon, I’m always sad most of the time when I get these thoughts these days, I just tear up rather than feel anxiety I don’t even know what that means too
- Date posted
- 5y
I got that same problem bro. I have thoughts like “would the sex be even good? Is something missing?”
- Date posted
- 5y
Mind you I’m not a virgin but I’ve only had a few sexual partners and I never had a lot of time with any of them to really learn or enjoy sex so that definitely fuels the hocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Get a therapist...I broke down and told Mine and she understands me better than anyone...wouldn’t lie......it’s been amazing
- Date posted
- 5y
Some days watching porn is okay and sometimes it’s torture because i I get super anxious when I look at the guy and it’s so much so that I feel like my dick is getting harder but when I Look at it it’s the same I know this is too deep but I need help
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand what you’re going through. It’s impossible to separate the two....I’ve decreased my viewing. I get too much in my head
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro watching porn going out being with girls used to be the great and now I can’t even Chill with my female friends while I’m the only dude because I feel like I’m gay and when I’m at school i avoid them because they are always in packs and I’m friends with most girls because I wanted them, or we have history but now it’s all different dawg
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah...what u described is exactly what I go thru.... When I calm down I realize it’s all in my head. I’m analyzing too much...what’s natural and effortless is what I am.
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro I got this thing at the pinnacle of my life i had just gotten into a new relationship and it messed it up I’ve been living with this for 10 months and it’s been hell every guy on tv gives me anxiety bro I can’t even enjoy watching shit
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry I’m just seeing this now. Try and become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Also, what do your experiences tell you?
- Date posted
- 5y
I just have a lot of unwanted homosexual thoughts On my worst day every guy on tv makes me anxious I have a lot of speech errors about things I’d never say I would want to say I want pussy but say dick by mistake ???
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 It is important not to avoid the thoughts. You can’t prevent unwanted thoughts from entering your mind. You have to try and accept your thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
A good therapist is a lot of help and can speed up your recovery.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have two bad experiences with therapists how on a scale of one to ten how are you guys feeling
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 I’ve had several bad experiences with therapists before finding the right match. Keep looking!
- Date posted
- 5y
@taylorn I went to free therapists I can’t afford one I’m still in college but I wanna get a job and then look for one
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 Do you have insurance?
- Date posted
- 5y
@taylorn Unfortunately not
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 Perhaps looking into Obamacare, or if you’re in college, you can look into the school’s insurance plan for students.
- Date posted
- 5y
@taylorn I’m in South Africa so I don’t know if they can donate for me if I’m here
- Date posted
- 5y
I recommend you start looking. I’m sure many therapist can offer an alternative payment plan.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m in South Africa
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 Hmmm I’m sure there are certain services for free
- Date posted
- 5y
@taylorn They are I went to the university therapist and they don’t specialize in Ocd hence I need to find a job
- Date posted
- 5y
I want to overcome porn too. Its really makes me broken. I dont know how to.
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s fucked up fam
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a gay related dream it was two guys having sex but i wasn’t a part of it like porn and I was watching I don’t want to have this dreams I’m just glad I didn’t get a hard on. I was scared when I woke up but the anxiety didn’t even last due to lack of anxiety and not panicking, does it mean that I am gay now? ?? I don’t know anymore also I can feel that my mind doesn’t care it wants to move on does it mean that I’ve also normalized this?
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the gay dreams every night. No anxiety just fear and confusion. I can only sleep 4-5 hrs a night. Wake up with more anxious thoughts swirling as I lay in bed in confusion. Don’t wait to get a good therapist and suffer like me...get some serious help bro ASAP
- Date posted
- 5y
Did you believe you were gay before the onset of your OCD symptoms?
- Date posted
- 5y
No I was in a relationship and I loved girls more than anything I never thought I’d have this ocd in my wildest dream
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 What does that tell you?
- Date posted
- 5y
@taylorn That I have Ocd but they feel real sometimes
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
- Date posted
- 16w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldn’t give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we weren’t going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasn’t true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, “Oh, there’s other hotter girls” and, “Your ex looked so much better.” and I couldn’t stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, “what if you don’t like her because you’re secretly gay?”. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, “thoughts are just thoughts” method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary “American Murder: Gabby Petito” and all of a sudden my mind began to think, “What if I’m secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?”. For about a week straight, It’s all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didn’t know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didn’t know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, “You want to kill your gf because you’re just gay”. This sent me into such great panic, I couldn’t eat for days and couldn’t feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I can’t stop “checking”. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is “good” enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that I’m more than just gay. Truth is, I don’t know anymore. I’ve always loved girls and my gf. I don’t know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. I’ve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
- Date posted
- 16w
Guys I just wanted to hang up and I was looking at pornography every time I was you know do it and I would get bombarded with thoughts I'd get overwhelmed with them like my mind is just constantly thinking of and it was just so hard infuriating I was looking at like anime pornography and Isaw one of the videos that looks familiar I watched it before but I remember they had like a underage anime character and then I clicked off it as soon as I saw them and my mom said oh you clicked it just so you can see that and what makes it worse is like pretty ejaculation already leaked out so now it feels like I did it i didn't even jerk off to you all I did was see the thumbnail and then I have thoughts like saying oh well might as well already get off to it when it wasnt the content I wanted to see I seen that the thumbnail before in the sight I just ignored it was focusing on the video I wanted to see for now I feel like i have to restart everything not only with the overwhelming thoughts but also my thoughts made it feel like I was actively seeking it like if I want my thought it was like oh you knew it was going to be there but u still click it anyway oh yes I had a feeling but as soon as I saw it I clicked off I don't know I'm just overthinking I guess and also like as soon as I saw it like my mind had a urge like might aswell get off to it finish it very hard I don't even remember how I climaxed I don't even know if I did it right but now I feel like I have to restart
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