When I watch sx scenes sometimes I get feelings down there and ig I do enjoy it. But how do I differentiate between that and when I get groinal responses abt really disgusting not normal things?
I guess it’s your mind really. In my opinion, I think by the fact that you think are repulsed by it is good indication of what you do or don’t want. I used to get groanial sensations but they kinda lost their power. I instantly feel shocked and annoyed by these thoughts/images that get put into my head.
yes like I cant tell the difference tho sometimes. like when im actually enjoying something like a thought or moment in a sxual context. or when its intrusive. I find myself testing and checking a lot which ik is bad. but I just lose insight and cant tell whether I enjoyed a had thought or whats even me.
@ran_0fff That sounds difficult. I’m sorry you’re going through this.. you’re strong you’ll pull through!! I have a question have you been through something I’ve been going through: whenever I listen to romantic music and the song mentions things like “girlfriend” or “her” or things like that my mind goes to a child and it annoys me and sometimes I get these images or there’s scenarios in my head that get warped and go to places I don’t want it to go. I don’t get any groinal response THANK GOD. But I’m struggling with this right now.
@JustaguywithOCD420 yes music has been a big trigger for me. i get the same thing when romantic or sxual context of songs play. I was also wondering have u ever felt like u purposefully thought a really weird thought and it made u have a strong groinal response? I had a really weird thought just now and it felt like I kept purposefully replaying it and im worried i liked the groinal ans that means I liked the thought. I dont want that to be true. But it feels so real.
@ran_0fff Yeah I did a checking compulsion a couple of months ago that I still think about not too fondly. I checked to see if I got a physical sensation and when i did it made me cry. I don’t do that anymore because I’m scared that maybe one day my brain will warp and I will like it. But the sensation in all truth doesn’t mean anything. I know deep down I’m not what my ocd makes me think I am. But it’s the doubt that makes it worse.
@JustaguywithOCD420 yes I do the same thing, I feel like bc we expect a sensation it happens.
It's happened to me, and at the same time, it hasn't. It's strange, I'll try to explain. For example, in the last eight months that I've been suffering from this, I've only been able to watch movies that trigger my OCD. I watched Challenger, the one about the professor who created Wonder Woman, and Black Swan. Threesomes, women, and polyamory: three things that drive me crazy. I've experienced a lot of groinal responses, and sometimes there was such strong repulsion that I felt like vomiting, other times I felt nothing, and other times I had the urge to "touch myself." The only thing that has helped me is radically accepting what's happening: "Yes, maybe I'm really enjoying it." I accept it, I don't touch myself, and I move on with my life. It's very difficult, but with time and a lot of practice, it gets a little easier. Sometimes it's very difficult to identify a real thing or groinal response, so I try not to identify everything, only what I want to be real. If I feel something during a threesome scene and I don't want it to be real, then I say, "Okay, I'm feeling something, but I'm not going to name it," and I keep watching the movie. If I feel something watching a scene with a man and I want it to be real, then I accept it and enjoy it. I've been learning not to let myself be affected by rejection or the lack thereof, because when it's the opposite, my OCD latches onto it. Over time, the groinal response has started to decrease.
yes its so difficult. I literally will be in my head like am I really a predator? Did I enjoy that? If I enjoyed it once its true. Just on and on and on.
@ran_0fff Oh, I understand what you mean. What has helped me most is "radical acceptance and commitment," basically a constant "Yes, maybe I enjoy it, it's not my problem, I don't choose to be that person," and continuing with what I was doing without forcing the thought or what the body feels to go away. It's very difficult at first. When it started, there were times when I would say it and it seemed to do nothing because it gave me more anxiety, more nausea. If I didn't feel rejection, it was worse because I felt it was real and that I had accepted being that way. But after 8 months, I'm better, not cured, of course, I just don't spend so much time ruminating anymore. Although I have to admit that when dreams come in where I do things I don't want to, like last night when I dreamed about something I didn't want to, I spent 2 hours thinking about what it meant until I remembered that I shouldn't be doing that. I had to break the cycle, I got up and had breakfast. One step at a time, sometimes we believe our minds too much.
@marytw And it's not easy at all. Right now, my mind started focusing on something else, and it's had me thinking about it all day because the situation is so confusing that I don't know what's true and what's a lie. I feel like I don't even know my values, what I want, or what I like. I feel like I'm lying, and that no matter what I say, it's a lie. I feel it so deeply that I can't imagine any other possibility than that what I say I am is a 100% lie. And saying, "Yes, maybe I'm a liar, and I'm still going to live this way," feels like I'm holding myself back.
@marytw I feel the same exact same way
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