d126
- Date posted
- 5y
isssss93isssss93
- Date posted
- 5y
I use to have those thoughts as well. Those thoughts later drove me to break up with the guy I was with. But eventually I realized that the only reason I had those thoughts was because I was so afraid of losing my partner that created fear and checking. Which then led to looking at any little thing that I did not like about my partner and obsessing about it more. For me it was just a fear. A fear of committment, a fear of being vulnerable to love, and a fear of my partner not being perfect. But you have to realize that no one will ever be and focus on the happy moments. The reason you fefear because in the back of your mind you probably do not want to lose him as your partner. Which means you truly do care.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Yup! Everyone needs space from their partner and distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. At first, you likely won’t miss then and simply appreciate some time being just yourself again. But eventually you’ll likely start to miss them, with enough time. If you can’t be without your partner for a few days without falling apart, I’d consider that a much less healthy relationship. Codependency isnt love.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
My opinion ROCD I go through the same shit it’s awful but try and ride it out
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
This is ROCD! The most important thing is to recognize it! Trust me, I have the exact same situation as you do, we can do it! Honestly learning about rocd like watching videos and reading really helps me recognize that those thoughts that I experience are irrational and emotionally driven- not driven by fact
d126d126
- Date posted
- 5y
But how do you not wonder if this is worth exploring? There’s so much pressure around me to get engaged and I just can’t imagine that right now. Also his family and going away with him causes crippling anxiety as well. It’s hard to ignore this.
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
@df126 It is incredibly difficult, trust me, I have broken up with my boyfriend twice because of my obsessions and an incredible urge that he was not right for me. Its not that you cant wonder whether its worth exploring or not; do everything on your own time. Its incredibly important to recognize your symptoms when you get them (eg: second guessing your love, constantly wondering whether he’s the right person, etc) when you find the pattern, you will find the key. Meaning really focus on what may make your ocd flare up and work with the situations! Educate yourself on this rocd, it has helped me so much
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
@sorryitsemmy Maybe read up on rocd and watch videos. iocdf.org has stories under subtypes of ocd and intrusivethoughts.org has many resources. Apart from those resources, you will find many more and knowledge really is the best thing you can have in your situation
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Are irrational thoughts always emotionally driven?
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too, i do it all the time. I hate it
d126d126
- Date posted
- 5y
Unfortunately it just doesn’t feel that way. I’ve ran scenarios in my head of him leaving or giving me a reason to break up and it relieves me.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe you don’t want to be with him. Or maybe you feel relief because you know you’d no longer have to deal with ROCD about him if he were gone. In a sense, that would be a relief. But it will follow you into future relationships if you don’t deal with the OCD.
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faye1010
- Date posted
- 20w
My feed, please
Is it normal feeling no connection towards your boyfriend if you think you're dealing with ROCD. I was talking with my therapist last Wednesday and she asked me if I can picture a future with them for the longest time I did but now I feel like my head is trying to tell me no is that common?
Holliea12
- Date posted
- 18w
Feelings
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 16w
please read
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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