d126
- Date posted
- 5y
isssss93isssss93
- Date posted
- 5y
I use to have those thoughts as well. Those thoughts later drove me to break up with the guy I was with. But eventually I realized that the only reason I had those thoughts was because I was so afraid of losing my partner that created fear and checking. Which then led to looking at any little thing that I did not like about my partner and obsessing about it more. For me it was just a fear. A fear of committment, a fear of being vulnerable to love, and a fear of my partner not being perfect. But you have to realize that no one will ever be and focus on the happy moments. The reason you fefear because in the back of your mind you probably do not want to lose him as your partner. Which means you truly do care.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Yup! Everyone needs space from their partner and distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. At first, you likely won’t miss then and simply appreciate some time being just yourself again. But eventually you’ll likely start to miss them, with enough time. If you can’t be without your partner for a few days without falling apart, I’d consider that a much less healthy relationship. Codependency isnt love.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
My opinion ROCD I go through the same shit it’s awful but try and ride it out
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
This is ROCD! The most important thing is to recognize it! Trust me, I have the exact same situation as you do, we can do it! Honestly learning about rocd like watching videos and reading really helps me recognize that those thoughts that I experience are irrational and emotionally driven- not driven by fact
d126d126
- Date posted
- 5y
But how do you not wonder if this is worth exploring? There’s so much pressure around me to get engaged and I just can’t imagine that right now. Also his family and going away with him causes crippling anxiety as well. It’s hard to ignore this.
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
@df126 It is incredibly difficult, trust me, I have broken up with my boyfriend twice because of my obsessions and an incredible urge that he was not right for me. Its not that you cant wonder whether its worth exploring or not; do everything on your own time. Its incredibly important to recognize your symptoms when you get them (eg: second guessing your love, constantly wondering whether he’s the right person, etc) when you find the pattern, you will find the key. Meaning really focus on what may make your ocd flare up and work with the situations! Educate yourself on this rocd, it has helped me so much
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
@sorryitsemmy Maybe read up on rocd and watch videos. iocdf.org has stories under subtypes of ocd and intrusivethoughts.org has many resources. Apart from those resources, you will find many more and knowledge really is the best thing you can have in your situation
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Are irrational thoughts always emotionally driven?
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too, i do it all the time. I hate it
d126d126
- Date posted
- 5y
Unfortunately it just doesn’t feel that way. I’ve ran scenarios in my head of him leaving or giving me a reason to break up and it relieves me.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe you don’t want to be with him. Or maybe you feel relief because you know you’d no longer have to deal with ROCD about him if he were gone. In a sense, that would be a relief. But it will follow you into future relationships if you don’t deal with the OCD.
Related posts
faye1010
- Date posted
- 24w
I need an opinion
So the last couple of weeks I was in a super bad ROCD spiral, I was constantly looking things up and doing all the normal compulsions. Now I'm doing better, but I'm starting to wonder if that even was ROCD because I'm just thinking that maybe we're just not a great fit, but I want to be with him forever so bad. Does anyone else experience this?
gia wyer
- Date posted
- 15w
Rocd
Is it normal to miss your partner when they are gone but when they get back you feel irritated and you dont even wanna be around them
Madz!;)
- Date posted
- 12w
ROCD or not.
Okay. This might be a little long. Basically I’m just wondering if this is really ROCD or if I officially lost feelings for my current boyfriend. BACKGROUND ABOUT ME: I assume this might help whoever reads this, and that may explain my situation. Long story short I have bad anxiety and OCD about intrusive thoughts. I figured out about my anxiety from a therapist after it started to get really bad when I was in middle school. However I figured out about my OCD this year. Before middle school I started to get anxiety from my dad. My parents divorced and he was an emotional abuser and very narcissistic. So since I was little I was always careful on what I did and said. And then another topic is that I had an ex bf who acted close to him. He was very insecure so he was controlling over me and was narcissistic and also emotionally abusive towards me. Always played the victim, etc. So he kind of traumatized me because we fought daily and just the way he treated me. My current bf is a green flag to me. We don’t fight, he is kind, understanding, funny. He checks all my boxes. Me and him were friends for about a year before we considered being together. 2 MONTHS AGO: this is when it started. It was a Sunday and me and him were going to an event at my school. It was for seniors because we were graduating the Sunday coming up. And we hung out the past 2 days and from what I remember things were like they were. Me and him were about to hit 8months the up coming Monday and I did understand that’s the time where the “honeymoon” phase becomes more.. I’ll say realistic? Anyway, we were close to leaving and something in my gut was off. Idk what it was. Idk if I was nervous for the event or something. But I just had a weird feeling. Again I have bad anxiety and OCD so I was scared about all the kids that were there. I don’t know. Anyway we left and when got to about 3 minutes away from our location my bf turns to me in the car and tells me how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me. Then the thought “idk if I love you the same anymore” came in my head. And my gut feeling worsened. It was unnoticeable before but after he said that and I thought what I thought it got so much worse. Like it was sickening for me. I I love you back immediately but that thought.. I didn’t let it go. I couldn’t enjoy the night at all. I tried to act like everything was fine but inside I was suffering. Later that night he took me home. And I couldn’t get rid of that thought in my head. We FaceTimed a bit later like we did almost every night but I couldn’t be on the phone. Every time I looked at him I felt guilty and that thought kept coming back that I lost my love for him. So about 5-10 mins later I told him I was tired, said our goodnights and hung up. I cried. I didn’t like what I was feeling and I didn’t know what it meant. It was hard to fall asleep but once I did I remember waking up in the middle of the night to the thought about my bf. I got up to splash water in my face to cool me off because I was sweating. I got ready for school and I was crying I was confused, worried, I didn’t even know. I cried to my mom later and she didn’t know what to say or do. I cried all day at school and my gut feeling was horrible. I’ve never had it as bad as I did the first few days after this started. PRESENT(2months later): I already typed a lot so I don’t want to make entire book. But now, it’s like the gut feeling is there but tolerable. I still get the thoughts and the gut feeling does worsen a bit when my bf texts me and I see his face in photos and such. Or even think about him. My main concern is that we are supposed to go on a trip together next month and before this happened I was so excited to go with him. And now it’s like “what if I’m not better” “I don’t love him anymore to go with him.” Idk what to do. It’s like a chore for everything, when I text him, hanging out, calling him. Everything. Idk why to do. Idk if it’s because I was reck for the event or because of graduation and needed a reason for my nervousness? Idk. He didn’t do anything, he hasn’t done a single thing but be there for me. As much as I’ve been there for him. I don’t want to lose him. There is more to this story so if you want to ask go for it. I know this is hella long so. But I just want the help. Please let me know!!
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