How do you truly not care what your sexuality is? What has worked for you? What do you do about false attractions, it’s like I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex and it’s not even a specific type of person, but it’s also not just anyone. What do I do and how do I get past this?
I say find out what your core fear is. Once you find out that root problem, then you can work on it. Here’s how I figured out my core fear: I was afraid of being bi. —->If I was bi, what would happen? —-> My friends might be judgmental of that. (Then what next?) ——> Then maybe I would find out they aren’t good friends for me. (Then what next?) ——> I could lose my friends ——> I would end up alone. So for me, my fear actually wasn’t about possibly being bi. My core fear was actually about ending up alone. So with ERP I did lots of exposure exercises about being alone and I accepted the sad feelings that would come if that event may or may not ever happen. Accepting the possibility and knowing I can handle it if it came true- helped a lot
@Love1another<3 So basically with ERP it’s not about trying to prove the thoughts wrong. Instead it’s about learning that you can handle the discomfort of the event coming true and learning to handle the discomfort of the thoughts/ feelings that come along with it
@Love1another<3 Did you figure all the answers to these questions at once or did it come overtime? I’m having trouble figuring out the answers to everything now.
@MountainLion For my core fear- my ERP therapist actually helped me to figure it out during only one session. So she carried a big chunk of the load for me for that process. But it’s understandable that you would need a lot more time if you’re trying to figure out your core fear by yourself without a therapist. I would say, don’t put pressure on yourself. A big part of the ERP process is to not try hard to figure anything out and to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing for sure. It’s very difficult but I believe you can do it :) And if you mean- did I find out the reality of my situation? Yeah it’s something that happens over time gradually. It’s easier to have more clarity once ERP makes our OCD brains less foggy. I realized that things really aren’t as scary as my OCD makes them seem and a lot of my fears weren’t even true at all. I spent a lot of my time compulsing for no reason when I could’ve spent that time with my loved ones. I regret that a bit. So I always try to advise people to focus more on doing what you love instead this present moment, instead of only focusing on Ocd worries & demands
@Love1another<3 Thank you for taking the time to provide such thoughtful responses. I’m going to try and apply what you mentioned. May you continue to succeed in overcoming OCD and be able to live a life not controlled by worry!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
