christians with OCD

Tons of thoughts! First of all, I grew up in a high control religion that I have been healing from for the last while… Which means a lot of my OCD comes from guilt & shame with not doing things in the exact right way that I think they should be or that people have told me they should be… I’ve taken time to realize that I used to monitor exactly how things looked in written form when I was praying, and how long I prayed, and how my heart was feeling, and how my intentions were, all of those things. And how I thought other people would feel about my times with God. So I’ve done a lot of really fighting to make this about me and him, instead. And sometimes I do exposures, like, I wanna pray or read more, but I just pause and walk away for the day or, I acknowledged to myself, things are not going to be perfect and God knows that, also he allowed me to have OCD. I really enjoy going back to Psalm 103 verse 14, which says that God remembers we are dust. He remembers that we are imperfect creations that he decided to create, he loves me and cherishes our relationship, and yet, I have these flaws and tendencies and he allows these flaws to be here. I can make efforts to have less ocd patterns in my times with God, but it’s not something I need to feel guilty about and not something he DESIRES for me to feel guilty about. *Prayer * I realized for myself that I did a ton of ruminating in prayer, especially if I was journaling. There is an idea just on a mental health note, of just writing everything out so that it’s out of your head… and for typical people or people with depression and anxiety, there is benefit there, and there is a benefit in getting everything out on paper for me, but I noticed for me, it wasn’t always as helpful as it could’ve been because of OCD. But since I’ve done a little healing, I realized that for me, I needed to do a little more healthy monitoring on what I was writing. If I have already stated an idea or a point, I try to stop instead of ruminating and continuing on that thought again and again without it being a productive comment or conversation. When it was hard to stop ruminating in writing while I was praying, I switched to only praying out loud. You can also set a timer if your brain gets stuck there. You could also read a psalm which often times is a written prayer already, and fight hard to leave it at that not even adding your own thoughts. Just sit there and remember that that is an act of praise. *Praise* Go on prayer walks or just sit in silence in nature, which can be hard lol, looking at creation and sit in gratitude. Change up your routine and remind yourself your VALUES. I am making an active choice to NOT ____ today. I am valuing ____. *Reading* If I notice I am studying out things and hyper focusing on things like apologetics or something, I make a purposeful effort to change course.

I used to get caught up in how long I spent reading, because I used to be told there were specific amounts of times that Christians needed to pray and read, etc. So now I try not to look at the clock. Or I’ll set an alarm or timer for my “end time” so I’m not looking at the clock. Oh also on the “changing things up” thing, I sometimes just listen to a sermon podcast and pray. I used to feel guilty about that (which is easily connected to ocd as well as religious misuse of scripture) but I try to push past it. Listening to a podcast sermon and then praying about it…it can really help me and also gives a new perspective from my own.

Recognizing that OCD is not a CHOICE has been really helpful in my relationship with God. I am not CHOOSING to feel guilt or shame. I am not CHOOSING to ruminate etc. Technically you asked for topics… If you have a hard time praying about a certain topic but feel the need to focus on a topic, maybe you pick up a high-quality and well rated spiritual book to help you learn and focus on a specific topic but with someone else’s thought patterns. “In the grip of grace” by Max Lucado is the best book on grace I’ve ever read (and unfortunately due to my spiritual past, I’ve needed to read a lot 🙃). He has a lot of books on Grace,. “Gentle and Lowly” is about Jesus’ compassion for us and the way HE thinks of us. That’s a great book for stepping out of your own thoughts on God. UGH it’s so deep and SO gooooood. And talks about how Jesus loves us in our ICK and doesn’t expect us to be any certain way. I also change things up. If I have been thinking about or feeling guilty about or focusing a lot on things that I think I need to change in myself, then I will turn to reading a spiritual book or listening to sermons on other topics or do studies on apologetics. I have the “Archeology Study Bible” by Zondervan which is incredible. You could be stuck in it for years, with all the content it has…but it also can be useful if you watch yourself…because there are so many interesting topics and it’s helped me to not just hyper focus on one thing because it has so many additional and neat insights.

Some people enjoy using a structure for praying like the ACTS prayer. Adoration Confession Thanksgiving Supplication I found this helpful in the past to organize my thoughts and help me move on from ruminating.

You can Google structures for prayer to get additional ideas of what may work for you.