- Username
- inkblack
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Play with your niece,stop avoiding her let the thoughts be there,they are automatically generated they are not from you,Do not react with fear,Stop analyzing, ruminating and try to find their purpose,You shall have tremendous anxiety,guilt,shame and all sorts of feelings that’s part of OCD.Go to parks toy stores and let the thoughts be there ,They are false.Expose yourself to fears it is your only way out.These thoughts will come but don’t forget you are opposite of them.Don’t react to them with fear.The more you react with fear the more your brain ? register these thoughts as important and it will send you more of them inorder to protect you.TRY VERY HARD NOT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM AND GO ON WITH YOUR DAY.RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE AND FOLLOW YOUR VALUES MY BROTHER INSTEAD OF YOUR THOUGHTS ?
I just got home from residential and sleep w my mom when I have a hard time (20 yr old female). Her hand touched me while she was sleeping and I had a full on panic attack. Did I like it? Did I force her? Was I aroused? It’s so hard. You’re not alone, and you’re not a problem or predator. It’s ocd
It can be so overwhelming though
@Lynnrich Agree but with more exposures acceptance mindfulness and no self loothing it will get better.It is an everyday practice.Is it easy?HELL NO but things will get better
I can totally relate. The thoughts race around my head like someone else has control of my mind. Mine started years ago with hocd, but now it’s gone into pocd with specifically my 2 year old granddaughter as the focal point. When I get theses thoughts I want to kill myself. It is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever thought of
My brother used to walk down the middle of the road to avoid pavements where he might brush into someone. Said he preferred to get run over than risk brushing against a young girl. Even when doing that he would still ask for reassurance that he hadnt made contact with anyone.
His behaviour was 10x more extreme than any other case I’ve come across & now he’s almost completely cured.
I hate being touched I had family gatherings last 2 days both days I broke down contamination ocd cant touch people or things or objects or they cant touch me causes massive problems . I'm 44 years old had this 23 years but this theme is new since july I bloody hate it . Hope ur ok it's so hard when around others
Hello inkblack, Please know that my heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for your courage and strength in sharing your post. I'm a 39 y/o male who has suffered from POCD and Harm OCD for many, many years. OCD is an atrocious illness, and it has robbed me of so much. I'm determined to beat this. Through love, support, medicine, CBT, and ERP, I hope to eventually get to the point in my life where OCD takes a back seat, instead of being a main driver. I have taken Paroxetine (Paxil), 30mg/day for a long time, and it has been good for me. You may want to inquire about with your doctor to see if it may help you. Be assured of my prayers and thoughts. Wishing you much healing and wellness.
In health, Determined
WARNING: POCD I need to know your thoughts... I'm panicking and feeling horrible This is probably one of the first events that made me wonder if I was a "p". (I'm female, 20s) Two years ago, in the summer, I went to a friend's house and I met her younger sister (8, at the time). She was very sweet and adorable and I liked her so much! She showed me her toys and she was always around me... I feared I was feeling some sort of attraction to her... And now that I am recalling the event, I'm getting so afraid that this attraction was, in fact, real. I'm on the verge of tears right now ... Because it was so strong... Believe me, this felt like attraction. I'm thinking about her as I'm writing this and I'm remembering the warm feeling I experienced (like I was developing a crush) - I just want to cry because I don't want to be a "p". I spent the whole day in panic and wondering If I was "p" and if I was attracted to her. I tried to dismiss the thoughts and enjoy the day. I've always wanted a little sister and one day (at that time), I wanted to have a daughter someday. I've played with her and talked with her. Later that day, we went to the pool and I played with her again and even gave her piggyback rides (which now, I know it was a mistake - because I am getting flawed (false) memories that I touched her butt but I'm almost sure that I only touched her legs when giving the piggyback rides but I'm afraid that I touched her butt on purpose too to be deviant! I feel like I would be capable of doing such a awful thing). I remember enjoying her company and wanting to be more time with her... But now I'm so scared that I had bad intentions, because "p" people want to be around children. I feel like there was more than "having a child/sister for a day" because of my strong feelings for this girl. I regreted this whole dayAnd when I went back to her house, I avoided the child at all costs. What do I do?? I feel so hopeless... I am crying like crazy, not knowing what to do. I feel like a "p". I am so scared that I was attracted to her and now I have this new false memory that scares me... Please help me... I'm in despair..This particular story weights on me. I'm reviewing it over and over (taking the false memory off) and I don't think I did anything wrong BUT I cant help but to feel uncertain about it... Even if I didnt do anything wrong, I still feel bad for not avoiding it. I felt like a "p" the whole day... I had these intrusive thoughts the whole day... Yet, I wanted to be near the child and play with her?? I was trying to dismiss my thoughts - I tried to fight them! but I can't help to feel that what I did was predatory! Or wrong! I have been crying so much about this subject... I have high morals... And everytime an adult plays with a child is usually a "p" or a predator... I am so afraid that my "desire" to be with this child was an indicator that I'm a p or a bad person in general. Please... I want to know your opinions (I also have another question. I also felt "dirty" all day. Are all of these symptoms normal in ocd? Do people with ocd can like being with children? Are even these questions making sense?) I can't help to reinforce this! I felt terrible afterwards - I regret it so much... I felt dirty during that event, after that event and even today! This was my first time (or one of the first times) dealing with with pocd... I thought it was my brain trying to get me... So I tried to fight it! But... I feel like shit for not avoiding her... I'm so afraid I actually felt attraction for her because it was so strong the affection I experienced for her... I feel like a p... I'm so done...
Hi guys, I know this question may sound weird, and I apologise if it so or if you find it offensive in any way, but is anyone here with POCD who lives with their children or younger siblings and struggles a lot, especially if you are really close to each other, and often quite affectionate as well? I live with a younger brother, he's 8 years old, and he is really bonded to me. Because of that he really loves to be affectionate with me every single day. Well, I don't mind that, I find that really sweet, and because I always wanted a sibling I appreciate that he likes spending time with me and that he sees me as a caring sister (well, not always but you know what I mean). Due to my POCD I'm rarely enjoying the moments I spent with him. Honestly, I spend more time analysing my thoughts and sensations, or if I have any urge to harm him in any way, than having fun. The current problem I'm dealing with is that I think I've abused him. I know it's sounds terrifying, and there is a part of me that doesn't want to agree with this statement, but there were moments, including one yesterday, when I impulsively kissed him after having a combination between thoughts, feelings and sensations. I don't know why I keep doing it. I really don't want to harm my brother (or any other child!). But weird moments like this happen, and I'm tired of them. I feel like a true monster and I don't know how to move on. I've never seen people having this issue, so this probably means I'm evil and an abuser. I really want to go to the police and confess, I have this immense urge to do so. I'm really sorry if you find this post disturbing. I promise that's not my intention.
Hello everyone this is my first time writing on here and I’m really scared to even say something because I have never had proper help with ocd or been diagnosed but I’ve been dealing with severe ocd since 2017 now. I just want to get better but it feels like there is no way out at times. My most common are sexual thoughts or pocd or ocd related to my family, sexual or harm. Yesterday my niece was at my house and I adore her to bits but over the past year I’ve become very distant with her and I don’t like hugging her or touching her or just being close to her. It makes my heart break because she is everything to me and I have to push her away when she comes to hug me. Yesterday I tried to get over it and play with her again so I hugged her and sat by her side with my head on her shoulder but a sudden urge came into my mind and it was so disgusting. I kept thinking I would touch her inappropriately or without her consent and that thoughts just took over my mind. This will sound so stupid but my thumb or fist was on her back and I had a thought that it was wrong to touch her so I pulled away but the thoughts came rushing back and I let my fist be placed in that same position again. I feel so disgusted I know it’s nothing and this sounds completely insane but I feel like I’ve done something disgusting and touched her in a inappropriate way and I havent been able to get over it because it feels like I let the thoughts win and they made me do it? What if it isn’t ocd? I’m feeling like I just can’t get through the night please tell me if real event ocd happens to you guys and how to deal with it? Is this ocd or am I just this disgusting person who did something to her? I keep replaying the moment in my head but all of it is fuzzy and I can rationalize it. I just feel disgusting.
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