uncertainty makes me uncomfortable, especially with pocd

i’m never going to be able to accept uncertainty with this topic. every time i tried to “accept uncertainty” like people tell you to do, it makes me extremely upset and i’m not able to function normally. i believe that there’s a way to get out of pocd without doing all that accepting uncertainty stuff, because i know that real arousal doesn’t feel like my body’s tricks on me, but everywhere i go is still telling me that i need to accept uncertainty. is this necessary?

POCD

BlatantWorry

Date posted: 14h

The absolute truth with this theme for those with arousal non-concordance is that the arousal exists. Accepting the arousal does not mean aligning with it. It just means taking it at face value and being able to say with true confidence: "Yes. These intrusive thoughts, words, concepts, etc, arouse me, or turn me on." You are not responsible for intrusive thoughts, and moreso you are not responsible for how said intrusive thoughts make you feel or what reaction they instigate. You are only responsible for your actions, and the only two options available to you with thoughts and feelings is to either accept them (e.g cherish them if theyre egosystonic) or let them go into the wind. Letting them go without resisting them is the key factor here. You can have these intrusive thoughts and unwanted arousal and still be a good person that lives by values. What matters is that you choose to do things that makes you *happy.* These are your *values.* Sit with the arousal, accept it but do not fight or engage with it, and let it move on. Same thing with the thoughts. It is, literally, just a thought. Thoughts cannot be meaningfully or morally judged since they do not occur in the real world. If such was the case, then every person on this planet who has conceptualized any immoral action in any fashion, word picture or feeling, would be a bad person. Much like physics, equal opposite reaction, resisting or fighting the arousal, or letting the uncertainty around the concepts scare you will also only feed your OCD and thus the arousal as well. It is very important that you accept the thoughts and feelings *as they are* without assigning morality or judgement to them neither good nor bad. Part of the key to breaking free of the cycle is making room for you to breathe easy without fear and live in a way that brings you joy. Arousal with sexual themes is one of the toughest battles out there so you are very brave and strong for making a post here.

anon7336474864

Date posted: 12h

one of my bigger issues is that i don’t think i’m even into these things. what it feels like is a reaction to, say, me scrolling on some social media, finding content that happens to have a child, going “that’s a child,hey, don’t have a reaction,” and having a reaction because i told myself not to. i think that it’s barely about the fact that it’s a child but the intrusive thoughts connected to it

ben123

Date posted: 20h

I believe it is necessary. Are you in therapy it can be hard to do it on your own? Accepting it isn’t suppose to make you feel good in the short term.

anon7336474864

Date posted: 20h

i’m about to be in therapy soon. i just think that for me it may be unnecessary *for me because i know i’m not a pedophile. i just have intrusive thoughts and arousal non-concordance that only makes me react because it’s more of a “don’t react in any way like that because that means bad things,” so i physically react because of the pressure of that. all of these can be explained and i think it hurts me more to just “accept uncertainty” because deep down i think i know i’m not a pedophile. i think that accepting uncertainty is more for things that you can’t tell if they’re going to happen. uncertainty could work for “am i going to be a pedophile in the future?” but not for when i know my feelings, and not for when i only have doubt because of uneducated comments on the internet that give me anxiety.

ben123

Date posted: 16h

@anon7336474864 I would suggest you should be open to it as it is the gold standard for all OCD whether you believe the thoughts or not.

BlatantWorry

Date posted: 14h

@anon7336474864 I think pursuing therapy would be a wise choice, as it would ensure you are getting the help for this theme that you deserve.

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