Since I’ve moved countries and away from everything I’ve ever known, my depersonalization has been so bad. I don’t even know who I am anymore, I don’t recognize myself. I’m so lonely, I have no friends, and no family, nothing I know or feel comfort in. I feel so isolated to the point there’s constantly a brick on my chest. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve just got married but I’m seriously considering going home. I miss home. I miss me. I miss being able to feel comfort.

"Pure" OCD

BriarRose

Date posted: 5y

Hello, minfoy. I can completely understand why you are feeling the way you do, as OCD, by it's very nature, tends to cause fear about any type of changes that are made. And let's face it....change and especially making a move to a new geographical location tends to be scary, even for people without OCD. So it is normal and completely understandable for someone with OCD to feel even more trepidation about this. But you are not alone in your feelings, as there are many others, throughout this large world of ours, that feel the same way you do. I am one of them, as I have felt a lot of sadness and have greatly missed each place that i have moved from. And although i have not moved very much in my life, I know how unsettling it feels. It is also hard when you have lived in a certain place for a long time and then you move, as you miss it even more. I can also understand how it is even tougher when you move very far away from where you were before. My advice is to seek out social organizations or groups that you can join that will give you the opportunity to make new friends in your area. Are you familiar with the application called Meetup? It is a great way to join groups of people who are looking to make friends and be social. I don't know what country you live in, but if you find that Meetup does not have anything in your country, i'm sure you can find other applications like it, if you do an online search. Just remember that you are never alone. You have your husband, you have us on this application....and you have everyone in the world who is struggling with OCD and understands your feelings. I hope this helps. All the best to you! ❤

minfoy

Date posted: 5y

Hey! Thanks so much for responding. I moved to America from the U.K. Lived there all my life and all my family is there and now obviously I’ve moved and nobody is here, I don’t know anyone, can’t get anywhere at the moment. My friends from home have stopped talking to me. I just feel like I’m going a bit mad. I will check out meet up! Seems great. Thank you so much. And it’s good to know that I’m not alone. ?

minfoy

Date posted: 5y

You’re right, I think I’m fighting getting comfortable? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s nice to meet you too!

BriarRose

Date posted: 5y

I know exactly what you’re saying. OCD tends to create those feelings, but don’t let it get you down. You will be ok! You got this! ?

BriarRose

Date posted: 5y

We, as humans, are creatures of habit and crave the comfort of familiar surroundings, so what you are feeling is not just OCD, but of course, the OCD does amplify it. Give yourself time to adjust to your new home in the new country. Also, try to think of ways that you can make a cozy and comfortable home with your husband. And in time, you will adjust to your new home and surroundings and it will truly feel like "home" to you. Remember how you felt when you first moved into the last place you lived? It probably didn't feel safe or like home right away, as it takes time to adjust to a new home. Give it time and be patient with yourself. And give yourself the opportunity to build a cozy and beautiful home with your new husband. You can do it! I believe in you! ?

BriarRose

Date posted: 5y

Hey! Just read your reply and you are very welcome! I think it is so cool that you are from the UK! I've wanted to visit there for a long time; especially London! That is great news that you are in the United States as I feel confident that you will probably be able to find things on Meetup in your area. And Btw, it is very nice to meet you!

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 24w

please help, feeling trapped between two realities

Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while—about 6 months—but I’m really struggling and need some help or advice. I thought I had healed from all of this, or at least I was doing so much better. I have never felt this before but it feels like I’m slipping back into something I can’t control. Right now, it feels like I’m stuck in a bad reality. It’s like I’m trapped with my dad in one reality, and I’m trying to get back to the other where I’m with my family, but I can’t. It’s so hard to explain, but everything around me feels unreal, and my mind keeps telling me I’m stuck. It feels so real, and I don’t know how to get out of it. It’s like I’ve been transported to another world, and I can’t break free. nd now I’m scared I’ll never come back to the “good” reality I had before. and I genuinely believe this. I’ve been struggling with these thoughts about spiritual realms, the devil, and spiritual warfare. My dad has always talked about these things, and he’s gone through psychosis before. He’s also had a history of doing a lot of drugs, and now I’m terrified that I might end up like him. I fear that I’m somehow becoming like him, trapped in that same mental space he’s been in. He talks about spiritual stuff that scares me, and I can’t shake the thought that I might be losing myself the same way he did. I know this might sound weird, but I feel like I’m getting closer to that line, and I don’t know how to stop it. I keep feeling like I’ll never come back to the way things were, like I’ll always be stuck in this distorted reality. I’m afraid of losing myself, especially in my faith. I believe in God, but my thoughts and fears about all of this are making it hard to feel connected to Him. I feel so distant from God right now, and it’s hard to see how this can change. Has anyone else experienced something like this—feeling like you’re trapped between realities, afraid of becoming someone you don’t want to be, or struggling with fears like this? How did you cope? I just need some hope that I can get through this and come back to a better place. I’m scared, and I feel like I can’t escape this. Any advice would really mean a lot right now.

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 20w

Missing when I felt ok.

I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.

Pogoshow

Date posted: 14w

Myself

I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

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