What to do if the “What If” shows up?

Chris how to handle something like this as I was trying to be calm & allow her the space to enjoy herself. She’s very independent…. I struggle with catastrophic thoughts & absolutely so NOT want this to be a lm issue for her …. All to say …. She fell. I was calm & able to help her. Trip to the ER. Once I knew she was “ok,” the REAL panic took over! Hard!! See- I allowed myself to relax & just let her play. I was right there … this occurred & I feel so guilty for not being able to prevent it. Also- I feel like the moment I’m relaxed, the rug gets pulled out from under me (my family). I cannot explain this! It’s a big struggle. I fear the worst situation- always!! What do I do when something bad happens?!? Do I sit & pat myself on the back for relaxing?!? Or do I resort back to worry … because worry at least forces me to be more vigilant in my safety parameters… I struggle because my child still got injured. Am I supposed to be grateful it wasn’t worse?!?

*Not sure how to handle

I’m sorry you’re going through this. You are not alone. I can relate to the feeling of once feeling relaxed I almost have to look over my shoulder to check and see when the next anxiety attack will be, when will be my next OCD spiral episode. For me, checking my thoughts and feelings is a major compulsion of mine.

Sometimes bad things happen that are out of our control. When you worry about a million bad scenarios, statistically one of them might happen at some point, it doesn't mean ocd is right and you should start listening to it from now on, it just means that sometimes things happen for no reason. The idea that if you think of something more you will be able to prevent it is an illusion. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful and you should start jumping into risks blindly, but you dont have to drive yourself crazy with worry. Something I've been saying to myself when I become overly cautious is that "I don't need to check the street 100 times before crossing, twice is enough" as a way to remind myself that I really don't need to take into consideration every single bad thing that could happen. I relate a lot to you because I also feel like I'm not allowed to relax and I also had many moments when I would relax and then something bad will happen and I would take that as proof or I would think that I'm being punished, and I would go back to worrying. Recently a thing that I was terrified of happenning did happen and I had a panic attack over it but this time around I decided not to treat it as proof and just as a random thing. And ever since then, I feel like my catastrophic thinking has decreased. I'm still worried about bad things happening but I'm able to think that if they do I'll deal with them then.