rocd or incompatibility

hey, ive been diagnosed with ra/rocd a year ago. Ive been through loss of feelings, break up urges, intrusive thoughts about my gf etc. but i managed to heal a bit and the intrusive thoughts were gone for a couple of months. However, me and my partner started arguing lately and its been really intense. We even thought about a break form eachother. It did not happen because we decided to actively work on ourselves and the relationship. Weve been to one couples therapy session and are planning to attend regurarly. The biggest problem for me now is obssesing whether or not its worth it. Because there are a lot of things my brain is telling me i cant accept and that we are not compatible enough. But i cant differentiate if its real or not because ive had these thoughts before and it turned out that her behaviour wasnt the problem. But i dont know now. I dont know if were right for eachother. I would really like us to be. cause i love her with my hole heart and i know that with leaving her i would lose a part of myself too and i would handle it really badly.

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 17h

You can make a pros/cons list about the relationship. Sometimes writing it out and seeing it on paper makes it easier to see the truth (rather than when the thoughts just swirling around in your head causing you to ruminate. You are stronger than you think. Make a mantra " I can do hard things."

Anonymous

Date posted: 17h

For the record please discuss this idea with your NOCD therapist before taking any steps to make it happen, because depending on your situation/treatment it could be a form of reassurance seeking depending on how your ROCD manifests. But reading your post I had the idea that it might also be beneficial to ask your couples therapist about whether or not they’d consider doing individual or split sessions with both of you (like if your couples therapy is an hour, maybe every other session splitting that hour between you so you’re each talking to them for 30 minutes, or if they have some sort of other structure in place for that). If it’s something they can accommodate, I think meeting with them privately to discuss the fact that your ROCD is affecting this relationship but due to real relationship issues you’re struggling with knowing what is “real” or “in your head” (only using those for lack of a better term coming to mind, not trying to minimise your experience at all), and talk to your NOCD therapist about the possibility of them sharing ROCD specific notes from your sessions or even just having a phone call with your couples therapist to discuss the nuances of your specific situation. My thought process is that ROCD is one of those things that feels so impossible to identify and only gets harder when you are experiencing other problems in your relationship, but it’s possible that if your couples therapist is aware of the ROCD symptoms you’re experiencing they would be in a unique position to offer helpful insight based on what they observe in your couples sessions to help you determine which of those thoughts/feelings should be approached in couples therapy and which should be approached in your NOCD therapy

oliwia1212

Date posted: 17h

@Anonymous thank you for your support

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