- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
yes this is hocd , it's like knowing in your heart that you are straight but your brain tries to tell you otherwise , but knowing that this is in fact HOCD makes you feel just a tiny bit better
- Date posted
- 5y
I know for a fact I'm no where near straight, it's just like another me in my head telling me that if we're straight life would be easier. But it's a constant battle in my head that goes on and on and on. But in my heart it's girls, in my head it's girls, but that voice goes against anything I think or do
- Date posted
- 5y
@Abri How did you know you were gay? (Not trying to be offensive by asking, sorry if I am) I struggle with what I think is hocd. I don’t want to be with a girl I want to be with a guy. But it’s almost like I don’t have a choice and I have to be with a girl and it makes me sad (I think) and rlly anxious. I’m scared I do want it :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@annehatesocd Well try it with a guy and a female and if u like it then you like it if you don't like it with a girl than it makes it easier for you to find out. I nvr caught feeling for guys, but I was instantly attracted to girls.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have unwanted thouts all the time, and just can out not to long ago so I k ow the feeling
- Date posted
- 5y
sexuality is just a social construct i believe nobody is fully straight or fully gay people are just more or less than other , peoples life shouldn't be be determined by their sexuality everyone should be treated the same despite this , i'm sorry that you feel like this and this might not help but just know that you liking girls won't change anything and it shouldn't make life harder for you
- Date posted
- 5y
You are seeking reassurance which will make you worse. Instead, have you considered seeing an OCD therapist? If you get a treatment called Exposure and Response Prevention from a therapist who specializes in it, most likely you will see significant progress within 8 weeks. People who get ERP conquer HOCD ALL THE TIME. It just takes commitment
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m scared mine is not hocd though. I’m scared I’m just trying to blame my denial on that. How do we know it’s hocd? Like legitmately, I’m not trying to ask for reassurance.
- Date posted
- 5y
@annehatesocd this itself is a symptom of hocd , wanting to know for sure and not trusting yourself when you've got a solution , it helps me to think about that if you are worrying about your sexuality or whether your gay or straight it generally means your straight because you're having unwanted thought over it
- Date posted
- 5y
@LucyOlivia It sometimes just feels like I’m a lesbian who wants to date guys but I can’t cause I don’t have feelings for them and the false feelings I do have for girls give me so much anxiety and make me sad. Does that sound like hocd as well? :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@annehatesocd the feeling that you want to date guys sounds like you have some sort of attraction to them but hocd may be pushing them back (i don't know if this is true but from what i can understand ) but i think that this is hocd as you are having unwanted intrusive thought that are causing you anxiety or distress , it helps me to remeber that sexuality doesn't matter and i don't need to know what it is right now i could be bisexual for now but in the future change and realise i don't like girls , i myself am straight but to help me overcome hocd i tell myself that sexuality doesn't matter and it doesn't change who i am , but to answer your question i think it does sound like you have hocd (sorry this is so long )
- Date posted
- 5y
@LucyOlivia Did you ever experience these types of feelings? It’s more of it’s not I can’t date guys, I can, I’m more scared to. As I’m scared I don’t actually like them. Or I’m going to find out I don’t or something. Does this all truly sound like hocd or more like I could be bi? You can be honest
- Date posted
- 5y
@LucyOlivia I’m really scared :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@annehatesocd i feel like it sounds like both , i don't know you but from what your explain you could possible like guys but your hocd isn't allowing it , but i get these feeling multiple times a day , i'm only sexualy attracted to boys but the thought of being with a girl isn't bad to me it's just not i would chose if that makes sense but the fact i admit this causes me anxiety as in some way my brain is twisting it to say that that must mean i like girls , when down in my heart i don't and i don't beleive i would ever act in a relation with a girl (this could change in the future though) but you have plenty of time to experiment with both genders and if you realise you don't like guys that's completely fine but being who you are and liking who you like is okay , i know you can get through this
- Date posted
- 5y
Remember how I said that there is like a voice in my head, a nother person. Ik know that my life will be good with girls, but that voice says that I will just scare them off, and that no woman would want to be with a person that goes to sleep that can only think about hurting her
- Date posted
- 5y
If you hit the therapist button in the app and schedule a free 15 min phone call, NOCD’s intake team will give you info how to get better and find a great ERP therapist via video conferencing
- Date posted
- 5y
Everybody goes through a stage about being gay usually in there 20 s this does not mean your gay don’t believe everything you think betteroff don’t do everything you think prayer has helped me the devil don’t work in your head when u pray
- Date posted
- 5y
I've known I was gay sence I was born. In pre school my first crush was a girl, she was also my first friend. My first kiss was a girl. Can't say the same for my first time. I've never been attracted to a guy before. And I probably never will. But I love guys as friends, but I have never seen my self with one. And r u saying being gay is bad bc that is my greatest achievment
- Date posted
- 5y
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference prayer is the answer god is good he helps if you ask he’ll put people in your life that will help you
- Date posted
- 5y
No it’s ok to be gay
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 11w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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