i hate posting this

i feel like the only way i can get my obsessions off of my mind (and i feel so strange, like i should feel bad narrowing the entire concept of God down to an "obsession") is by bombarding my brain with stimulation like shows or going out to eat with people or hang out ... just completely distract myself and try to immerse myself into a completely different reality ... i think that if i did not lack empathy i would feel "bad" that im basically trying to forget about Gods' existence, and i do it way too much as to where i just ignore Him for the whole day, but admittedly i love it; i dont think im wanting to forget GOD HIMSELF but just this convoluted impression i have of God, that He's scary and angry and judgmental 24/7 and that I need to be starkly aware of each and every sin im committing whether it be my head or in real life, that i just need to disengage from my reality completely in order not to feel horrible and,i dont even KNOW if i should be caring about committing sin anyways, because it says that you cannot please God by works without faith, and i dont think i have any faith whatsoever, but at the same time, knowing of Gods' existence and still continuing to sin is just too scary. it's bad that im starting to become less scared of Hell but i felt lke i was driving myself crazy from the fear that i NEEDED to block out the fear in order to continue functioning or to be able to think clearly MORE THAN ANYTHING i wish i knew what God wanted me to do or what He thought about me. it scares me so much. i dont even know what to write at this point

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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Date posted: 19h

i just always feel like i need something to do and usually it involves laziness and excessive screentime

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Date posted: 19h

i wish that i had faith in Jesus Christ so that i could receive the Holy Spirit and i hate that i only want Him so that i dont go to hell... i wish i could care about something i wish that i wasnt so self centered because of my lack of empathy/ lack of interest in other people or things

Kim27

Date posted: 18h

God loves you. He sent his son Jesus to die for your sins all of them past present and future. He rose again from the dead and sits on the right hand of God and intercede for you. If you ask Him to forgive you of your sins and come into your life you will receive the Holy Spirit and you will be in heaven. Now all that being said I have ocd. I've been a Christian since I was 5. I'm 57. However I went through a bad spiral lasting 10 months ending last May asking is God real? Is heaven real? Is Jesus real? Will I suffer when I die? I prayed compulsively to hear from the Holy Spirit and for peace. I think the new medicine I've been on past few months has taken this fear away. I still do struggle with ocd. God knows your heart and mind. He knows you are struggling with ocd and He loves you

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Date posted: 15h

@Kim27 thank u i have asked for Him into my heart but i dont think i received the Holy Spirit because i feel like no matter ehat i do or no matter what i try i can't believe. i am just giving myself time to read the Bible because it says that The Word produces faith but for now im trying to just give up everything else because it has turned into a huge compulsion. im glad ur medication has helped u.

Kim27

Date posted: 12h

@🧠🫯 You received the Holy Spirit when you invited Jesus into your heart. Several years ago I had a stroke and the fear of dying went away. At that time I heard God's voice in my mind when I saw a bird flying by my hospital windows. He said when it's your time you will be with me just like that bird. Now over the 10 mos this past year of suffering I prayed compulsively to hear His voice and prayed for peace. I t didn't happen this time and every morning all day I had feelings of dread. I felt like I don't know how to study the Bible or pray. I'm not doing it right. So now I just downloaded free our daily bread app. It only takes a few minutes each morning. Has some verses, inspiration and prayer. You can read or listen to audio. After that try going about your day work or activities you choose. Let thoughts come and go leaves floating down the river and say ocd I'm hanging out with my friends. I don't have time for you. Are you in ERP therapy? It's hard work but we can do hard things. Also there are free support groups online for NOCD members. One is for scrupulosity ocd around Faith. It's just one of the many themes ocd focuses on

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Date posted: 19h

it just feeels way too good to disengage from caring but its because for the past 4 months my mind has been on overdrive being constantly afraid, stressed, confused, in a state of dread, just feeling like im banging on a locked door i dont know howto get into, scanning every part of my brain to figure out how to get "in", spending almost all of my waking hours putting so mych energy and effort into trying to have faith

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