recognizing a person of the same sex is attractive is making me go insane

some women makes me think they are beautiful and attractive, sensual, but i don’t want nothing with them. but only that makes my hocd tells me i’m bissexual and i feel like i’m becoming it but i DONT WANT TO BE it. people say then just dont but its not that i dont want to be bi and when im not in crisis i am sure that i am hetero and attracted to men only my whole life i been like this and i am in a happy marriage which makes me not desire other men aaaaa i am going insane i dont dont dont want to be bissexual but my mind is telling me that i am and that i am accepting it help please help also some female celebrities are very very sexualized lately and that makes me uncomfortable

Sexual Orientation OCD

canelalove

Date posted: Yesterday

as a gay man i really sympathize with you. sexual orientation OCD really messes with you because it attacks your identity, so that makes it even worse. i like guys, but i've met some charming women and my OCD has questioned if i was really gay or not. i know that i am, but i was still feeling what you're experiencing rn. what has really helped me is sitting with the thoughts and just letting them flow over me with an open mind, even if they make me feel anxiety and dread. eventually your nervous system catches up to your brain and stops treating the thoughts like threats. hang in there

theprooverth...

Date posted: Yesterday

@canelalove thank you for the reply, i have some absolute panic moments, then i get like “yea no i dont feel anything but admiring or recognition they are attractive” and then all over again

tedlassoenjo...

Date posted: Yesterday

I believe in your ability to handle this!

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

Many years ago I struggled with HOCD. To show you how far you can come, here is a message I sent to my friend earlier about him and his girlfriend without even the slightest consideration: "I take it back, she's gorgeous but you're actually pretty well suited with your rugged good looks"

theprooverth...

Date posted: 14h

@titaniumonetwo why does it keep telling me i’m bi without evidence? it makes me even feel like bi but i dont agree and i dont want to kiss, nor i fantasize, nor wanna have anything with woman, my hocd just gets the fact that i can recognize when a woman is attractive/sensual and takes that as the only and strogenst thing against everything else and my whole life, likes and beliefs, i keep telling myself i dont want to be bi and i know i’m not but then ocd says but if you know you’re not why do you feel like it and have to repeat to yourself you’re not

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@theprooverthinker Because OCD does OCD things. It doesn't need to be logical, it just needs to keep you anxious. It is totally normal to find other women attractive, all of your friends will be doing it without even paying the slightest bit of attention to it. They may even at times wonder what it would be like to BE with one of them, some of them may even have had some experiences with other women and still be comfortable as not seeing themselves as bi or lesbian. When my HOCD was bad (many years ago now) I remember finding basically everyone of the same sex attractive. Honestly you could have put the ugliest man in the world in front of me and I'd have STILL thought I was attracted to them... Why? Because my mind was highly sensitised to it. Now, honestly I could watch magic mike, comment throughout on which guys were best looking and go to sleep and not even think at all that I might be gay. However as my pocd is worse these days, every film with a teenage or young girl in is a "threat". It's the same mechanism with a different target and the uncomfortable truth for me is it's entirely possible that at some point in the future the "threat" might be HOCD again and magic mike would be challenging but a film with children irrelevant

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@titaniumonetwo For the record magic mike was the film with hottest guys I could think of... If there are better options for your taste feel free to adjust!

theprooverth...

Date posted: 12h

@titaniumonetwo thank you… its awful that ocd doesnt go by logic and sense…

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