Hey everyone I’m really struggling right now I’m not having any intrusive thoughts I’m just ruminating on the possibility of be being a you-know-what and I’m so anxious because I can’t tell my real memories apart from fake ones and I’m feeling a strong urge to self-harm. Sometimes my OCD fluctuates and I feel completely rational and okay and I know I’m not like this but other times my brain is just completely horrible and stupid and I really do convince myself that I’m a you-know-what. I’m just feeling really triggered and terrible right now I don’t need reassurance I just need some tips or suggestions for coping mechanisms to de-escalate all of this. Somebody please help I’m sorry.

I just acted on my compulsions (research and checking) and I know from what I’m reading that I’m not that way but still my brain just won’t stop it’s scaring me.

I’ve felt the same way and I tried medication because it gave me so much anxiety I started having panic attacks. I somehow got through it. I still get thoughts here and there but I don’t let them take control of me as much. I know who I am. I know I would never do that. My thoughts are there. But they’re just thoughts nothing else. I know they won’t make me act. Trust me you got this. Reading about it always helps me a little. The more you know about it the better you’ll feel just know you’re not alone in this ❤️

I know EXACTLY how you feel. That’s what I struggled with the most was well “what if” but that’s just part of anxiety that comes along with OCD. When I was going through it I was afraid of being around my family. Maybe if you face it head on and just let the thoughts flow everytime they come without immediately letting them control you I think they’ll eventually come less frequently and if they face them you won’t be bothered by them as much. Because it’s just a thought nothing else. That’s what helped me.

I’ve said this in other posts, but it doesn’t seem like you acknowledged what I said. If you want to get better from OCD, you need to do ERP with a trained therapist. Do yourself a favor and research the value of doing ERP with a trained OCD specialist therapist online. Your hell with OCD will most likely stop if you see a good ERP trained therapist, whether through NOCD or another medium. Good luck