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- 5y
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- 5y
me too
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- 5y
I have so much anxiety. It’s 3:20 where I am and I woke up at 1:30 and have been up ever since. Can’t sleep.
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- 5y
Someone told me it sounds like I could be bi and have hocd and that set me off so much .
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@annehatesocd I understand. Who told you that?
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@elleeen Umm i don’t remember the person’s name on here but they have hocd as well and they are trying to accept the fact of uncertainty. I think it was Luna something. I’d you scroll down you can find her, but it really scared me. I’m terrified now :( Do you think im bi? From all you know? Like i want to be with a guy in my head and heart but it just feels like i can’t, do you feel like that?
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- 5y
@annehatesocd jup i can relate. And i wont answer because only you know, and i don’t think other people should tell u what u are... thats not cool. Espacially when people here have HOCD, its not okey to trigger people. Trust yourself even thought u feel like you don’t know, because im in that stage. Try to remember its only fear, fear of being gay its worse than being gay.
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- 5y
@elleeen Ya I feel awful cause there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. I don’t even know why I’m so distressed. I think it’s cause we are straight but just scared of being gay. Idk.
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- 5y
@annehatesocd Yes i feel bad too, because i’m not homophobic at all. And ocd doesnt make sense, i want guys, but feel like i’m gay.
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@elleeen I don’t even know if I want guys. Well I mean I know I want guys but it’s like I can’t even become attracted to them anymore and it sucks :(
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@elleeen Do you deal with that to?
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@annehatesocd Jup, its normal. When u have ocd you get so deep down in the thoughts that you don’t know anymore. We have to try to live around the the thoughts and feelings
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- 5y
@annehatesocd it was me and i just want to say i never said you were bi i said it possibly sounds like you were , you said honestly is it hocd or am i bi and i said from what you've told me i think it might be both but i don't know you in person , please don't twist what i said when i was trying to help you , you asked for my honest opinion and i never once said you were i said you could possibly be bi and suffer with thy hocd still
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- 5y
@elleeen I’m still so scared....cause like I said I know you were trying to help Lucy but it really triggered me. That I could possibly be bi. And that scared me so much. Cause I could never be with a girl, that terrifies me.
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- 5y
@annehatesocd i'm in the same boat don't worry , i know i would never get with a girl but i still get the feeling so i have to just deal with the uncertainty and know how i feel in my heart
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- 5y
You are giving into a compulsion by saying that. You need to accept uncertain by saying “maybe I would be this way, I’ll accept the uncertainty and move on”
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- 5y
If you challenge the thought you will get worse
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- 5y
If you can’t find an ERP therapist I’d highly recommend an ERP book. Stop Obsessing by Edna Foa is a great one
Related posts
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- 21w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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- 17w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- 16w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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