Wandering eyes or ROCD??

Hey! I think I might be able to provide an answer since I am sort of in your boyfriend’s situation (I have ADHD and am in relationship of one year). This definitely sounds like ROCD, and checking to see where he is looking is the compulsion you’ve adopted, which means that continuing to check will only set you up for more anxiety unfortunately. As someone with ADHD, I am constantly looking at my surroundings without any conscious thought beyond ‘what’s that.’ By nature of being in public, sometimes that ends up being whatever objectively “chad”-looking dude is around (I am a woman in a straight relationship for reference). You frequently checking to see where your boyfriend is looking will set you up for failure in the relationship, because you are assuming his motives based on something he is likely not even doing intentionally. It’s natural and normal for the human eye to fall on someone conventionally attractive, even if you dont feel personally attracted to them, and I often find myself accidentally staring at shirtless men walking by, even when my boyfriend is right next to me. But despite how visually distracting someone may be, I have never once used another persons attractiveness to undermine the attraction I feel towards my boyfriend. In fact, I usually find myself staring in judgement more than anything, even if I do find the other person objectively attractive (i.e. Why does he have no shirt in public? What is he trying to prove?). But from an outsider perspective, I’m sure it looks like I’m oogling every dude that comes by, which is why trying to assure yourself that he is not looking at someone else will only lead you to be upset when you realize that he is. You cannot possibly know what he is thinking when he is looking at another person, and assuming will only put stress on your relationship (speaking from experience as the other party). If he is unfaithful, you will never figure it out by trying to decipher his line of sight, and you would have noticed many other signs of that trait by this point. TLDR: It sounds like your boyfriend loves you very much, and his attraction towards you will never fade just by seeing another girl, and if it would, trust me when I say that there would be lots of signs telling you to run.

Hey! This sounds a lot like rocd. What helps me in these moments is “maybe he is, maybe he isn’t - I’ll handle that if and when I need to”. OCD wants you to panic about what if he is doing that, but if he is you can handle it, you’re brave it’s not the end of the world. so try tolerating the discomfort and eventually you’ll probably be able to see it’s not at all what your brain thinks it is. 💕