“ERP” simply doesn’t work for me. It MAKES me need to check more. Months ago, I purposely didn’t wash my hands after touching my eye. I had conjunctivitis, and convinced myself it was caused by an std, even when I had negative results in my std tests. I used the toilet at work after touching my eye and now I feel absolutely TERRIFIED I infected myself and my partner will think I cheated and leave me. NOW I feel that I MUST go back to the clinic to make sure my asshole isn’t infected by my own fucking eye all because of “ERP” which is nonsense as far as I’m fucking concerned

I don’t know what to do I’ve been seeing this guy for roughly 4-5 months and I like him so much like he could be the one. He was in town for something for most of the time we’ve been seeing each other but he recently moved back to his state which is pretty far away. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to accidentally get an STD from somewhere like a toilet seat or the other day after taking the bus home I forgot to wash or sanitize my hands before wiping plus I’ve had coworkers and even my roommate admit that they’ve had chlamydia and one has HSV. I’m terrified that I’ll get something and he’ll think I cheated and we’ve both been hurt like that before and I wouldn’t want to put him through that or have him think that of me. I’ve been trying to not google anything or go to the doctors bc those are my compulsion and reassurance seeking things but nothing is helping it’s to the point I don’t want to use the bathroom or do anything does anyone have any tips to help it’s starting to effect my life I know this isn’t possible but I keep thinking it would just be my luck that I’d the odd one out it does happen to

I am doing ERP by my own because I can’t afford therapy. I exposed myself to babies photos online, changing diapers videos, baby genitalia . All was done with google . I honestly feel like I am predator by viewing these photos even though they are just babies. I seen also a picture on research article of a female patient she is a minor and they have done sexual abuse check on her . The image was so triggering, it was literally a vagina. ℹ developed lots if obsessions with increased groinal responses. And now I fear that I enjoyed all what I have seen.

In September I had unprotected oral sex. I haven’t had sex in five years because even before that I was so ashamed and worried about sex. I finally did it and then a few weeks later while I was at work I started to be very itchy all in my underwear area like up to my butt. I didnt see any blisters or anything but when I googled it, herpes came up. Eventually I thought maybe it was the new underwear I bought and it went away after I stopped wearing them. However it’s returned twice, mostly when I’m really worried about herpes. I know this makes little sense because I don’t thinking about it would cause an outbreak but, either way I’m really nervous to go get tested because I heard there’s a high false positive rate and if I get a positive there’s a huge chance I will just become a recluse and never speak to anyone again. I already have so much trauma with sex, vaginismus, etc. I can’t imagine telling anyone I have herpes and then they 1) don’t want to be with me 2) now know this and could tell anyone they want Even if I don’t have it I was reading it could be asymptomatic and 80% of people who have it don’t even know, so now I’m worried I will get it no matter what sex I have. I can barely handle staying alive with just OCD but now with social stigma with herpes I will feel like I can not even live a normal life. I am already freaking out about it and don’t know what to do. I am worried to go get tested and it saying I have it, and then I’m worried to not and potentially spread it, I’m not even having sex with anyone right now so it’s not like I would. But I’m worried I will forget to wash my hands and touch something and someone else will touch it and then get it. I’m just having a really bad time.