Feeling depressed/shameful about my thoughts

Hi guys I’m new and don’t have an official OCD diagnosis but it’s possible I have health OCD. Today I just feel tired and down and I’m working and I feel really sad. I’m having a hard time not constantly doing mental checks on my body and symptoms and I just want to lay down but I’m afraid to give my brain space cuz I don’t want to spiral. I just am tired. I’m tired of constantly feeling like I’m scared of everything and like I’m a bad wife and like I failed at life because I still don’t feel good after 17 years of therapy. I have a lot of chronic pain today and my head feels like a mild migraine and I almost had an anxiety attack thinking about Christmas and having to travel. That’s all. I see my regular in person therapist today and start NOCD therapy next week so maybe I can work some of it out. I’m scared to get my hopes up about NOCD just because I don’t want to disappoint myself. Being this sad just doesn’t feel like myself and I always worry it’s something worse like psychosis or another disease.

mafbro

Date posted: 12h

I really feel this in my own way I've been in general therapy for a very long time and have still struggled greatly with relationships, socializing, and have not been able to make it through most schooling. I got my OCD diagnosis a couple months ago and my mental health has never made more sense. You don't have to get your hopes up. You don't have to believe it's gonna work yet, but try to have faith in yourself and your therapist because you deserve to have that support and you deserve to feel better cause it can. there's no failure in life only what makes you happy, fulfilled, and connected to what matters most. i have faith in you!!

Gloriaxoxo

Date posted: 12h

@mafbro This is so kind thank you 🥲 I’m trying to just keep my expectations neutral and take things one day at a time. I’ve done some small ERP skills on my own and they’re the only things that make me stop spiraling. We shall see what comes out of it all.

designer_girl✨

Date posted: 13h

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is exhausting for reeeeal. I completely understand the disappointment!! I felt the same way. It actually took me a VERY long time before I gave NOCD a chance. But I was just so dang miserable I knew I needed somebody’s help. I’ve had regular talk therapy since 2019 off and on, and after I got diagnosed with OCD, NOCD has been very helpful. Finding a good match with my therapist here has helped me so much. I hope you get relief 🫶🏾

Gloriaxoxo

Date posted: 12h

@designer_girl✨ Thank you 💕 I think, if I end up getting an OCD diagnosis I’ll maybe feel more like I can open up about things. Sometimes I feel like I have so many diagnoses that it isn’t possible to have one more 😭 but my regular therapist told me about NOCD so there’s gotta be some signs of OCD I’m sure

designer_girl✨

Date posted: 12h

@Gloriaxoxo You’re so welcome 💕 and trust me, I get it! I have my own personal laundry list of diagnoses, lol. It will help you and opening up will be quite a relief. There is something VERY human in just sharing our stories, it really helps lift the burden. You are not alone! ✨

Gloriaxoxo

Date posted: 12h

@designer_girl✨ Yesss!!! And I try to remind myself that none of my diagnoses are a personal or moral failure on my end and I didn’t ask for them, they just happened. Life be life like that

designer_girl✨

Date posted: 12h

@Gloriaxoxo Exactly!! You are exactly right. We NEVER asked for any of our mental illnesses and yet here they are. We are very capable! You got this 👏🏾

mafbro

Date posted: 12h

of course! that's really awesome. ocd is awful😫even taking those steps on your own is great and shows you are so capable.

Gloriaxoxo

Date posted: 12h

@mafbro Thanks 😅 yeah I’m finally here because like my anxiety is so much better but these intrusive obsessive type thoughts continue eating me aliveeeee. Like brah. Fingers crossed I get at least some sort of direction to go in. Thank you for all your kind words!!!

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