So TMI but I need help POCD 20 / f I masturbate right and usually when I do that, I watch porn on xvideos, now I usually watch hetero but I used to watch lesbians and when I was a bit younger, I stumbled upon young/old porn and found it interesting? the dynamic was weird also I would NOT do that ever lol when I see grandpas in person my heart goes "aw" not GILF but idk if i'm turned on cause of the whole concept of if or because well its sex. I find myself usually getting attracted to the girl more and what the other person is doing to the girl anyway. but yeah i used to watch it (not all the time) and usually get off to it sidenote: watch professionally made porn, bc sometimes u cant be too sure of amateur and u may be watching a minor subject themselves into sexual manipulation PLEASE PLEASE be wary of this and report any shady videos u see. but recently ofc i've been more aware as to that's wrong and even labeling the girls (who i'm sure are of legal age hopefully) a "teen" is even more wrong BC I STRONGLY BELIEVE A MINOR shouldnt EVER be with a person of legal age. i'd just assume teen means 18+ but u know there are some sick psychos out there that would imagine it as lower but basically recently i don't really watch those anymore or look it up bc pedos disgust me and i feel like those kinds of videos feed their fantasy. but recently i've come across one (it looked professional and i know professionals usually get legal aged people) that made me curious (thumbnails) and i already watched a porn before and i was aroused ofc but found myself getting off to it a little (but i did reach climax) but also i exited it right away bc ofc it felt wrong even if if were two consenting adults with a large age gap. esp when the girl was labeled "teen" basically i feel wrong for feeling this way and even getting myself off to it (i was already doing my business while browsing for more to watch when i stumbled across that) but i'm morally aware and i dont look it up willingly anyway. but yeah i feel bad bc i feel like im a pedo (even tho i dont AND WILL EVER agree with the idea of a minor + perosn of legal age getting otgether)

POCD

greenwash

Date posted: 5y

And honestly it fucked me up and now I have stopped, and I feel much better.

rosecoloredgirl

Date posted: 5y

thank you so much. i will try. it does trigger me sometimes

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y

Sadly you have to accept the thought. Sit with the anxiety until it fades. Acceptance is not believing one thing is true. Its accepting that even if your 99% sure that its not true you have to leave a 1% chance for uncertainty. Anxiety can't latch on to the uncertainty. If you think about it 99% is pretty good odds? once you congure the fear you can look back understanding and clarity.

greenwash

Date posted: 5y

Stop watching porn it fucks you up. Go out look for somebody to spend time with.

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y

I see a lot of people on here watching porn. I think its best to stop it too. I had some bad experiances when i was a kid with it and dont watch it now. But it definantly contributed to my hocd. I would stay away from it. It does nothing positive especially when you have ocd.

rosecoloredgirl

Date posted: 5y

thank you, i will. but doesn't answer the problem i have :(

greenwash

Date posted: 5y

I also watched porn since I was 15 and now I am 34.

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