What to do

Hey, I’m going through the exact same thing right now. It hasn’t been this bad for me since I was admitted into the hospital. Nothing I do helps and it’s just like this constant state of anxiety/restlessness/depression. I’m trying to push through everyday and really try my best not to do compulsions, but it can be so hard

Haiii! Its meee Stella! Do you remember me? We used to talk through there and I tried reaching out to you again! First of all, I’m so proud of you for feeling so much better, I’ve also feelt much better after getting through ERP (on my own without a therapist ofc) I completely understand what you mean. Sometimes old OCD thoughts can randomly come back, especially when your brain recognizes them as something that used to scare you. But having the thought come back doesn’t mean you’re going backwards, and it doesn’t mean you have to start obsessing about it again. Progress is not linear! You might have good days and bad days! Honestly, what you described from last week is a really important part of recovery. You noticed the anxiety, you didn’t fight with it, you didn’t try to figure everything out, and eventually the wave passed on its own. That’s exactly the kind of experience that can teach your brain that anxiety doesn’t need a response. And I know the uncertainty can feel horrible. But you don’t have to get rid of the uncertainty before you can move on. You can literally have the thought of “What if I start obsessing about this again?” and answer with something like, “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. I’m not going to solve that right now.”attitude. Then gently return to whatever you were doing. Try not to turn the old thoughts coming back into a new thing you have to monitor either. You don’t need to check whether you’re thinking about them, whether you’re recovering correctly, or whether the anxiety is completely gone. Let the thoughts be boring background noise instead of giving them a job, because the more you pay attention to them, the more they start appearing again. (Speaking from my experience) You’re not back at the beginning. You’ve already had experiences where OCD screamed and you didn’t respond, and the anxiety eventually came down. That experience is yours now. Keep going, one wave at a time. You’ve got this. I love ya so much! 🤍 Oh and by the way do you still wanna be friends?

You have to sit with the uncertainty maybe it's coming back maybe it's not. It's not easy. Also, I'm taking Respiridone .5 mg temporarily and it helped pull me out of the spiral