Really sad…

I’m so depressed from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed. I see all the other girls so happy living their life and it breaks my heart because I want to be one so bad. All I can think about is that I’m a liar fraud and in denial. I constantly feel like I’m faking being a girl even though I never felt like this before ever it’s heartbreaking. I truly think there is something going on with my gender even though I truly don’t want it to be. I went to the store today picked out a blush that I felt would make me feel beautiful then I kept thinking why am I getting this I’m not a real woman anyway why do I need this. It’s to the point now that I feel that I am a man inside like I have a complete mismatch with my gender I am so sad. This has to be real if I was cis I wouldn’t even question it I wouldn’t feel like a man I would know I was a women I miss my life.

melsxae

Date posted: Yesterday

I get you I get this too, I feel like I try to be like the "normal girls" and fit in and it makes me feel wrong and like I'm a fraud and just not me

melsxae

Date posted: Yesterday

don't worry this doesn't mean you're secretly a man and you don't have to disprove that thought either it probably just means that you don't align with that stuff as much as other people do

Genna:)

Date posted: Yesterday

@melsxae Before this I aligned with womanhood fully and felt like one this started from a random thought what if you’re bored of being a women and spiralled and turned severe

melsxae

Date posted: Yesterday

@Genna:) Oh right I see what you mean

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Ask you therapist about Body dysmorphia. I had this growing up.

Genna:)

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Hi :) I did have that when I was young and insecure but I absolutely love my body and how I look now it’s the constant gender questioning that is scaring me and making me think I’m not a girl because I don’t feel like one

username0192...

Date posted: Yesterday

so this is like 100% ocd. you had an intrusive thought that goes against who you are and your brain is trying to convince you it’s real. the more you try to analyze it and disprove it the more real it seems and the more anxious you feel, and the cycle feeds itself. Your identity is something you care a lot about and of course ocd is going to attack that. I know these words will probably not do much for you, at the most it will only provide temporary relief. you’ll have to accept that the thoughts might be true and they might not be. Try to identify compulsions—like analyzing how you feel—and do your best to not do them, because all it does is give ocd power. I would recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in ocd if you aren’t already, they can seriously help with ERP and helping you beat this. You don’t have to let your thoughts define you, especially not this one.

Genna:)

Date posted: 20h

@username0192837456 Thanks 🥹 but the thing is I constantly feel off now and not like a women which scares me

username0192...

Date posted: 17h

@Genna:) yeah that is scary I am sorry. but it says a lot to me that it is something that scares you. if you manage compulsions and accept uncertainty it won’t always be like this ❤️

Genna:)

Date posted: 17h

@username0192837456 Thanks for the support I just hope I feel like a girl again and am no repressing anything 🥹

Genna:)

Date posted: Yesterday

I just don’t get how this could happen from a single thought and the phrase that cod people don’t question their gender has me freaked out .

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