I need help I can’t sleep.

Hi. This is going to be a long post. I am F(21) this has been the worst five months of my entire life. I have had other ocd themes but nothing compares to this. I woke up one morning with a random thought that said what if I’m bored of being a woman. That thought made me very anxious. I started having severe anxiety and depression. Every single day. All I did was talk to ChatGPT. Ask them signs about gender, dysphoria, looking up, gender, dysphoria, trying to see if I had gender dysphoria, or I relate to other trans peoples experiences every time I try to make myself feel beautiful. I feel beautiful. I love my body and how I look, but I constantly question my gender from the time I wake up till I go to bed it’s very sad. The anxiety and depression is subsided by the constant gender thoughts from the time I wake up till I go to bed, won’t stop. It’s like I’m not even me anymore. I just wanna be the girl I was before. I just wanna wake up all morning and all these days to put my gender to be gone. I just wanna feel like the beautiful woman I was before I live my life. I am so jealous of my friends when I’m with them it feels like they’re just normal girls and I’m pretending and acting like a woman when I’m really not even though that’s all I wanna be. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I truly feel like I’m in denial or this is just real depressed, gender dysphoria I don’t know what to do all I see Alana’s houses people don’t question our gender. All I would think about is my gender constantly. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t get how the anxiety depression is primarily stopped, but I’m still constantly questioning my gender. This is not normal. No cis person does this. I just wish I was a girl again.