Is this OCD genuinely

There’s this woman that I think is very beautiful and she is my type. I’m not a priority in her life which is fine because I really need to put my education first (and I need to fix whatever is wrong with me before I can be with someone) and I understand because we don’t know each other enough to really care about each other. She barely responds to me, like leaves me on delivered for weeks. Thing is I can’t stop thinking about her and I get excited when she finally does text me even if it’s boring. But I know that she doesn’t think of me like that cause why would she we don’t know each other. It has me worried that I can’t stop thinking about her and imagining what if of what our relationship could be like. Logically I know nothing will come of it and it’s best to stop talking to her if it’s boring but there’s like a nagging in my head that keeps me thinking and replying to her. It’s hard to let go and I feel trapped. Is this another OCD thing and if so how do I help myself?

LGBTQ+ with OCD

username0192...

Date posted: 14h

couple thoughts. I am all about working on yourself but I’d encourage you not to view it as “fixing what is wrong with you.” I certainly understand this sentiment but you are a beautiful human being the way you are and you can also work on yourself while being in a relationship with someone. If you really like this person, I wouldn’t let your current state of being prevent you from keeping her out of your life. Obviously if you know these boundaries are necessary for yourself right now and you don’t have the capacity for a relationship I 100% respect that too. Just want to gently make sure it is not for the wrong reason. OCD could certainly be exacerbating how much time you are thinking of her, but it can also be true at the same time that you really do care about her. To be quite honest with this sort of thing these days I am all for just being honest about how you feel. This could manifest in whatever way you want but two options could be addressing the fact that you feel like you aren’t a priority in her life and wondering if she would like to become closer friends, or just tell her you have feelings for her and see where that goes. Personally I have found it really difficult to find closure with this sort of thing if I don’t have a definitive answer because i’m left wondering about, even if it’s extremely unlikely, they might also like me. And maybe that is an ocd thing that I need to work on. but it also seems rather silly in the short life we have to not tell someone how we feel because you don’t know that they don’t feel the same way unless you ask, and as long as you are respectful of their response I don’t see how that would cause any harm. That’s just my 2 cents worth of rambling, happy to talk more

hie5

Date posted: 13h

@username0192837456 Thank you, you make a lot of sense and I do struggle with being honest and maybe that’s what I need to do, I’m not too sure right now but I’ll keep what you said in mind :))

mealsybug

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

In my experience, I get that way whenever I start to have feelings for someone. Could OCD be a contributing factor to why I would hyper-focus on one person at a time? Maybe. I also found that the second I got rejected I was over it, but if I was never explicitly told “this will not ever be a thing” my brain would fixate on it. I guess it’s kind of that uncertainty thing that comes with OCD keeps us clinging to it, because there’s always the “maybe”. I would just have a conversation about how you feel and maybe clarify that her answer will not affect your friendship or current relationship.

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