anonymity and me

so… i’m in kind of a weird situation. i need to call adult protective services on somebody. i discovered a few days ago that my neighbor is living in kind of a hazardous situation, and while i’ve already posted about and am still processing the contamination aspect of that… clearly somebody has to do something to help her. if i did not live so close by, if she did not know where i live, etc, i would’ve done so as soon as possible because anonymity would be less of an issue… but because im just the other unit down, and i doubt anybody else has been in her home lately, if services suddenly show up then it’s pretty obvious i was the one that called them, yeah? so i just don’t know, and i keep getting caught in this horrible feedback loop thinking about it, and thinking if her actual next door neighbors know (we’re in a series of condos, so everyone shares at least one wall…) and so on. it’s just such a bizarre position to be in that i have no idea what to do—or when to do it, rather.

"Pure" OCD

kyebug

Date posted: 9h

oh wow, this is intense!! i’m sure that you did the right thing. i have to ask, do you know what ERP therapy is?

kirby64

Date posted: 6h

@kyebug well i haven’t actually done anything yet, i dont know what consequences would come my way if i called APS so soon. people in general get very defensive when someone else alerts some sort of authority to them and things happening in their lives, and hoarders are no exception, so i’m just trying to go about it delicately… i’ve been in ERP before, but these pure-o loops where there is no intrusive or irrational thought and I’m just getting stuck on something, I’m just not sure how to deal with.

kyebug

Date posted: 6h

@kirby64 ohh, sorry i totally misinterpreted your post 😅 but yeah, that is tough. i honestly can relate. i often have friends or family that try to relate about being anxious, but they don’t understand what it’s like to be stuck in your own head after a spiral has been triggered. i hope you are able to figure it out, best of luck, friend!

WhatATripp

Date posted: 5h

I am a facilitator for an abuse prevention organization. One of the most unnerving actions to take is to report any kind of abuse or neglect, no matter the subject, especially in your situation. If you choose to call and report what you saw to an agency, you are simply asking them to do their job: visit someone who is having a hard time taking care of their home and animals which depend on them for care, and possibly even caring for themself. Will your neighbor know it was you? Possibly to most likely. Would I be hesitant if I were in your shoes? Heck yeah. Even as a facilitator who teaches adults about the importance of reporting abuse, I would share the same concerns you have. If you're confronted, be prepared with a gentle answer. "I called because I am worried about your safety and health and don't know how to help you." Or something like that that is a true reason for why you reported it. And I am sorry you had such a rough time with the mental aftermath of stumbling into this situation. I have contamination OCD, mostly under control, but I'm pretty sure if I experienced what you did, it would not be even a little under control anymore. I hope you are connected with a therapist who can help walk you through this.

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