Does anyone else relate to this?

Hello, Super valid, and for sure the reason my OCD became so debilitating because I was so scared to speak up due to fear of being seen different. I kept silent for so long but it really only made it worse. One thing that I noticed was I would "run away" from the fear or trigger (examples of my triggers were crime scenes, news, weapons, etc) but through ERP I learned that that is only giving more power to the thought because that is what it is A THOUGHT (yes I know easier said than done, but begin to internalize that and you will begin to believe). With help of my therapist I faced certain exposures. She also helped me practice uncertainty statements (which are extremely hard to do) but I promise you with time they make the thoughts feel less serious. Another thing that helped me was staying grounded in the present AKA whatever it is that I am doing. Instead of ruminating on "one day" which always refers to the future, just stay in the present as much as you can. Take it slow, and do not be hard on yourself! Another thing that helped was being more compassionate with myself. I began to take things slow, rather than being harsh and constantly question "why am I having these thoughts" or "what does that say about me". Instead I would credit OCD, like ugh its the OCD trying to tell me that I will ____. I wish you the best in recovery, it not linear but also not impossible! You got this.

Normal. Like sometimes I’ll imagine myself throwing my wine glass at the door and shattering it and going bezerk. But just cuz you have a thought doesn’t mean it needs to be acted on/ or it’s destined to happen. I’d encourage you, cuz this is important: what is the core fear underneath this urge? What you are you truly afraid? Could it be you think deep down your are a monster who hurts everything he touches for example? This is where the RP in ERP comes in… the response prevention must relate to the core fear. If you want the alarm to go off over time, I’d repeat something in a nonchalant almost comedic like “maybe I’ll hurt my whole family, that would be fun”. That isn’t agreeing with the thought; instead it’s not giving it the response or reassurance it demands like “no im a good person, id never do that!!!” Uncomfortable at first but OCD is like a bully. Agree & absurdity and it realizes overtime you aren’t bothered anymore so it just stops.