I’m afraid that one day I will get pleasure from the idea of being bisexual. I feel like it’s inevitable that I come out. I don’t like girls and I never have, but what the fuck? What is this? I am so scared that I feel joy when I think about being bisexual. I am terrified. What if this is just internalized homophobia? I am alone. I am the outlier. I’m sure I don’t have ocd. I’ve made this all up to cover up my sexuality.

Look I’m struggling with HOCD as well and you know what I feel better accepting that it’s there rather than fighting. Trust me on this you won’t become what you fear, I had all those symptoms you listed above and you know what I’ve stop caring. The more importance you put on the thoughts the stronger it gets. What you need to do is let the thoughts in and not fight them (I’m still learning this) they will have less power over you and you will overcome it. I had this shit 7 years ago and it went away, I relapsed but it’s slowly fading. Don’t waste anymore of your life worrying over what if’s, live your life and fuck ocd. OCD is a bully regardless of the theme, it will make you think things that don’t reflect you as a person. Starve the beast and don’t fuel it with unnecessary worries, that means no visiting forums (ie: Empty closets) or even gay pornography for that matter. Excessive worry or testing won’t make it better only worse. Learn to live with the uncertainty

Same I’m really struggling today

You’re not bisexual you have ocd

If feel exactly the same, never ever had attraction for guys, please noooo. But OCD is so strong it's super weird. If I would be really gay I would feel pleasure thinking of guys right? Guess what, I don't, I'm disgraced about myself and I don't even dare to watch porn anymore because it scares me. I have a huge crush on a girl from my university, she keeps my head above the water and when I think about her I get this warm and cosy feeling. OCD is so weird and it tears you apart. Fuck this shit